A Story About Steve

2010-11-23T16:05:00.000+08:00

FLUXUS VOICES VOL 2. - "BEAT IT"

2010-06-27T02:33:00.000+08:00

Fluxus Artists - All I Want For Christmas Is You

2010-06-27T02:32:00.000+08:00

2010-06-24T16:03:00.002+08:00

The beauty of life lies in discovery.

Explaining science theories spoils the fun of discovering it via experiments. Jokes are never funny when you have to explain it. Romance loses its effect once you have to instruct your other half what needs to be done.

Rules and regulations only seek to destroy the beauty of life, sadly.

The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein

2010-04-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

2010-04-20T07:39:00.001+08:00

Sometimes love can be expressed through a simple sandwich.

2010-03-30T18:21:00.003+08:00

What does a cage, chains, a fetter, handcuffs, ropes and rules have in common?

2010-02-18T17:47:00.002+08:00

God gave us the Earth and the Heavens,

America gave us the American Dream,

Africa gave us the Amazon,

Europe gave us THE lifestyle,

Russia gave us oil and coal,

India gave us information technological infrastructure,

AND China made us a copy of everything.

2010-02-17T21:11:00.001+08:00

2010-02-15T22:46:00.000+08:00

2010-02-14T10:23:00.002+08:00

I certainly hope she doesn't teach English.

2010-01-31T01:23:00.004+08:00

Life is complicated for many, and in a bid to simplify and break down life mysteries into bite sized portions, man has created this mysterious thing called logic. Steve terms logic as one of the things that he simply cannot fathom, hence the adjective "mysterious". Try formulating a formula or a theory that can fully explain anything in life, and chances are you are not thinking enough of possibilities or you have applied "logic" in an ideal world.

Allow Steve to explain using a simple analogy. One of the most basic mathematical equations would be 1 + 1. Most of us learnt this before we even fully mastered our mother tongue. We have always been told that 1 + 1 = 2. Correct? Wrong. In different contexts, this simple equation can yield different answers.

From a mathematical point of view, 1 + 1 is 2. Give a guy a beer and then you give him another beer, you get two beers. From a binary point of view, you put two 1s together, you get 11. Yet again, from a romantic point of view, when a man and a woman get together, they become one, i.e. 1 + 1 = 1. Taking this simple equation alone in different contexts, one gets different answers. Life is full of surprises and miracles, yet man has always tried to simplify everything using logic.

With a closed mind, how then can anyone fully understand anything in life? We cannot put life in a laboratory and sterile environment and then spin off some logical equation in a bid to understand it.

Life is simply much bigger than logic.

2010-01-20T17:16:00.002+08:00

Not everything can be explained using logic or science.

Steve had a very interesting seminar last semester. The tutor posted a theoretical problem and asked if we could use any scientific method to solve it.

Assuming that each year we will meet someone and if we asked that someone to marry us, that someone will say yes. The distribution is random; one year it could be the partner that we dream of in our dreams, the following year could be someone average and the next year could the person we dream about in nightmares. There is no way of telling what we will get the next year. Yet at the end of the year, we have to make a decision.

If we choose not to ask that person, we will never meet him/her again and the scenario repeats itself year in, year out until we reach the age of 60 and we die or if we ask the person to marry us, whichever comes first. Since most of us can only marry one person, there is a danger that we might miss out on someone better or worse, passing up on the best of the lot. Faced with such a dilemma, we have to come up with a method to make our decision.

The best solution proposed by the class was settling on the mean that we were willing to accept. We would then find out the variation from the mean we were willing to accept. Anything that falls between the +/- variation from the mean would be within the acceptable range and should be taken. Yet this can only be done in an ideal world.

In reality, we seldom meet someone that we think might be suitable for us on an annual basis, much less day to day. There are 6 billion people in the world (currently) and assuming that there is an equal proportion of each gender, there are 3 billion potential couples. Less the homosexuals, those who have taken a vow of celibacy, those who are already taken and those who are not of age (infants, toddlers or dying), assuming that there is someone out there that is for us, that means that our chance of meeting the perfect someone has the odds of say, 1 in roughly 900 million. There are better odds on winning the lottery.

How does science, for all its purported ability to solve our problems, help in reducing these odds? Rational thinking and logic simply cannot help us either. If rational thinking and logic cannot help us solve our problem of the affairs of the heart, then there should be no such things as rules as well.

Science is our way of trying to make sense of what is happening around us.

2009-12-09T00:14:00.003+08:00

I can't wait to leave this godforsaken place.

SIGNS

2009-11-19T16:20:00.001+08:00

strangers- short film

2009-11-19T16:19:00.003+08:00

Black Button - Short Film

2009-11-19T16:19:00.001+08:00

2009-11-19T15:55:00.002+08:00

A few years back before the current Lehman Brothers saga, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) was the fad amongst governments and companies alike. The "giving back" culture was the byword of the last decade. Companies started embarking on a spree of "giving back". While that is highly noble, it is being replaced by the current emphasis on ethics and integrity. Declaring one has ethics and integrity is the current fad of governments and companies alike and telling employers that you think that ethics is a load of bull is the fastest way to fail an interview.

Steve has always maintained that people who are willing to die for their ideals are in fact the most stupid people on Earth. By stupid, Steve means that these people are too stubborn that they fail to see the full picture, stubborn to the point that they are willing to sacrifice their life for this. Surely there are many other ways to see out your ideals? Being idealistic is for the young, being realistic is for the old - once you have learnt that simply compromising your ideals, it is so much easier to accomplish stuff.

Are ideals, integrity and ethics really worth 20 years of your life? Kudos to his wife for standing by him all these 19 years and 8 months of detention. Steve is not saying that Dr Lim is stupid for standing by his ideals. But Dr Lim could have done so much more with his life had he not stood by his ideals.

And for what? Sure let history be the judge, but by then there is nothing he could have done. For the past 20 years, he was wiped out of the history books and many have never heard of him. Struggles with the political system are only good when it garners you the publicity to further your aims and goals. Ms Aung San Suu Kyi did it the right way - her house arrest and detention garnered enough media attention around the world and highlighted the ills of the current government. Nobody remembers second place; human beings have short memories. By being cooped up and locked up for so many years, Steve is sure that pretty soon Dr Lim's name and his hunger strikes and his imprisonment will go to dust.

2009-10-29T16:20:00.003+08:00

Here's a random scenario.

Imagine you are in a boat, and you want to reach an island quite far away. Many of your kind are also on a voyage to the same island, albeit in different boats. For some strange reason, we are all wired to reach that island. That is supposedly where we will all be happy. The seas are choppy and rough, swamped with sharks and well, non- sharks.

Your boat is comfortable, not the most beautiful nor not the most happening one. In fact, it is how you would imagine a boat to be if someone asked to think about a boat. You hope that it will be able to get you to where you want to go, aka the island. However, you aren't sure. Along the voyage, there might be a severe storm which might wreck your boat. Or someone might come and hijack your boat.

Imagine you see a state of the art yacht sailing alongside you, with beautiful white sails. There might be a ship captain; there might not. What would you do? Would you jump overboard and risk getting eaten by sharks, and yet have a shot at boarding that yacht? Or would you stay in your comfortable boat and think about your options when your boat sinks or when someone else makes you walk the plank?

2009-10-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

People always say the grass is greener on the other side. But Steve begs to differ - he views that saying as more of a way to console oneself or to advise someone against taking risks and staying in their comfort zone.

There are many things in life that one will not know or fully comprehend if they did not try it out for themselves. If you can tell someone that this job is not your cup of tea, how is the other person to know if it is not his? Bringing that example to life, if we do not take risks and try out new things, how are we to know if that is harmful to us or we will not like it?

In everything that we do, there are always the downside to it. Risk is proportionate to its rewards; the higher the risk, the greater the rewards. If we do not take the leap of faith, will we not know if we have fully lived life to the fullest? This is why Steve feels that people who always use the phrase "the grass is greener on the other side" are always afraid to take risks - they prefer to live in their comfort zone; to always drink the same cup of coffee, to always go to the same places, to do same things.

Hypothetical situation - what if you do know that somewhere out there, there is a place where you feel that you will be happy? Would you go there and be happy or would you just put it down as the grass is greener on the other side? Of course, realistically speaking, we might face the situation of us not being able to fit in and be disappointed. But disappointment is and will always be part of life.

Steve knows that there is a place out there for him. A place where there is just so much natural beauty that it is surreal. THAT is painted by the greatest artist ever - God. A place where people can walk along the streets and holler out "hola" to each other without someone thinking you are crazy. A place where you smile to greet a random stranger in the streets rather than being jaded and giving grumpy looks to the next guy, as if he had just irritated you. A place where people think about "hey let's take a day off and go relax at the beach" rather than wondering when their next paycheck is coming from. A place where money is of secondary importance to making merry. A place where freedom is valued over rules. A place where it encourages you to live life the way you want it rather than for the greater good. A place where it encourages you to live in the present rather than always worrying about the future. A place where social norm is scorned and freedom of expression is valued above all. A place where the elderly are respected rather than dumped at an elderly home, awaiting death.

If Steve knows that this is what he wants and he knows that place exists, does "the grass is greener on the other side" hold any weight? It is Steve's dream to be free and soar like the eagle rather than be chained and run a rat race. It is Steve's dream to eventually live and die in Europe. That above all.

Carpe diem - seize the day. There is no better way to live life than that.

2009-10-11T01:15:00.002+08:00

With seemingly the whole of Singapore on the back of a certain Miss Ris Low, Steve would like to offer her support. While her values are questionable, her looks not exactly the kind that makes guys go wow and her command of the English language is not of the highest standard, it is a shame that anyone, representing Singapore in any contest or in any way, should have to put up with all the abuse. It is just so easy to pick on someone, especially a naive public figure in this wireless world where cowards (yes cowards) miraculously find the bravery to offer their two cents worth on this matter.

In this cyber world we live in today, more and more people are speaking up. It would be a good thing if the society we live in oppresses free speech and thought aka a certain up and coming world superpower and that we offer constructive thoughts and opinions. Yet for all the good that has come out from this anonymous channel of expression, there is always the ugly side to it.

One very good example would be our Miss Ris Low saga. True, her values are questionable. Yes, she may not be the prettiest girl. And we agree that her grasp of the English language is weak. But how many of these brave souls who stoned Miss Low actually revealed their identity? Most of these cyber cowards used a nickname or come up with a whole range of poorly filmed youtube satires of the ill advised interview. RAD BEE KEE NEEE. If the biographer of Steve had a dollar every time he heard that, Steve would have to find a new biographer by now.

Let those who are without sin throw the first stone. How many of our cyber cowards are actually so morally upright? How many of them actually do look better than our Ms Ris Low? Lastly, how many of these clowns can actually hold a proper conversation in proper English? Are you any better? "But I'm not representing Singapore," the cyber cowards might argue. Well if you feel that you are in the position to stone our disgraced Miss Singapore World, are you not saying that you are better? Then why are you not flying the colours of Singapore? At least she had the courage to do so.

Her recent interview with Channel Newsasia, while not perfect, showed the character she had. Here is a brave soul, who despite all the barbs and bad publicity, is still, in her own words "standing tall". And that, is something that our cyber cowards are sadly lacking. For that, and that alone, Steve is full of respect for her.

Our public humiliation of our Miss Singapore World is more embarrassing to Singapore than the actual event of sending her to the world pageant. It showed that there are so many cowards amongst us. Since Steve is on the case of cyber cowards, he would like to highlight another point.

While Stomp started out as a forum for people to send in pictures to raise awareness about social ills or interesting events around our tiny little island, it is repulsive to see so many Stomp videos of public display of affection. How childish can these people be? Stomp seems to have descended into a territory for voyeurism and cyber cowardice to thrive. Steve would seriously advise people who have their photos published in the Stomp forum to take legal action against these cowards. Failing that, should Stomp refuse to divulge the names of these cowards, they should go ahead and sue Stomp for not filtering out these invasion of personal rights. Taking photos of other people without their permission is a legal issue. There is a fine line between what is currently happening in Stomp and having a camera fitted in a changing room.

As per normal, Steve would have to add a disclaimer so that there will be no legal honchos hunting for him:

Steve would like to declare that the above content is just his personal view and is no position to advise anyone to do anything. He would like the people who do read it and feel as strongly about Stomp to think it through before doing anything. He does not have the intention to smear Stomp's name or to bring legal lawsuits to their doorsteps. NOW Steve is a cyber coward too!

2009-08-27T09:15:00.002+08:00

If you see the symptoms of an illness, would you treat it early or wait till you die from it?

If you see the signs of destruction of a city, would you try to save it or watch it burn?

2009-08-23T01:39:00.003+08:00

For those wondering why recent posts from Steve have been about boy girl relationships, Steve would like to set things straight.

This all boils down to a very basic principle - essentially, Steve believes that how a guy approaches the woo-ing of a girl shows whether he has the innate ability to succeed. While what Steve believes may not be wholly accurate, as in not every player would end up as the next Bill Gates or Warren Buffett for that matter, the guy who is able to get a girl would more likely succeed than the one who doesn't. Let Steve explain.

First Steve would like to define the subject matter of getting a girl. The entire objective is just being able to get a girl for whatever purposes the guy might have - be it for marriage, a fling or just to test out his skills.

Next, we have to eliminate those who are not in the game altogether, for one reason or another. It could be because the guy wants to lead a secular life or because he thinks that he has better things to concentrate on. We have to include people who don't approve of marriage but yet are in the game for physical and emotional pleasure.

At the end of the day, it does not matter how long or how much resources are devoted to getting a girl - it is getting her that matters. The brutal game of love is almost identical to the real world. There will always be winners and there will always be losers. At the end of the day, it is the survival of the fittest - the best will always get the best and the worst will end up with nothing.

There are of course a few categories of successful men in this matter. The first would be the naturals - these people have it all. They might be handsome, talented, tall, rich or just smooth talkers. In the real world, they are the people who are supremely talented who don't have to move a muscle to do well in their area of work.

The next are those who are not naturals but realise that they are horribly deficient in this area. As such, they employ ways to brush on their skills to succeed in this cut throat arena. Even in the real corporate world, we can learn skills that enable us to do well in our field of work. Similarly, learning the tricks of the trade in the game of love that enables us to triumph can easily be compared to people who work insanely hard to where they are today. It is all about knowing your own limitations and working on them to make them your strengths. If one knows his limitations and does nothing to work on them, he would not be able to break out of his social status.

Skills like adapting to the whims and fancies of different types of girls reflect the ability of a guy to adapt to different situations in the corporate world. There is no way that a negotiation technique can be applied to different customers. It is all about knowing your enemy, knowing your objective and adapting to achieve your objective. The stubborn ones who are unable to get a girl because they refuse to change reflects a trait in a person - that he is very stiff and that he probably should not be in front line operations that requires adaptations.

A guy who puts his ego and "face" above all is unlikely to get a girl, simply because he is afraid of failure. Would you as an employer want to hire someone like this to run your company? This person is unable to get out of his comfort zone and take on risks. There is an proportionate relation between risks and returns - the higher the risks, the higher the returns. As such, employing this person to run your company would mean meagre returns on the capital invested.

Perseverance is important in wooing a girl. If a guy keeps giving up half way when he is chasing a girl, it says a lot about his character. When the going gets tough, this same guy would not have the stomach and fight to go through the rough parts. If he keeps giving up when the going gets tough, how is he going to succeed in life?

It is easy to simply conclude that girls go for successful guys. Steve is guilty of it and he puts his hands up to admit that. But what is inherent is these traits that made him successful are often the very same traits that he employs when he chases after a girl.

The last skill that Steve would like to point out is of course knowing when to strike. A guy who dithers here and there when the point of reckoning comes often fails to land his choice target. How then would he be able to seize opportunities that come his way? If he keeps letting opportunities slip, there is very little chance he will move up in the world.

The last kind of people of course, are those who just wait until the time when they realise that they are still not getting their targets and just order a bride, get match- made or simply just exit the game altogether. These are the people best suited for back office jobs where work is routine and that the drive that pushes us to test our limits is missing.

All in all, it is not that difficult to know how far a person will go just from his attitude towards getting a girl. Should Steve be an employer in future, the one question he will ask the male interviewees would be - what is your attitude towards getting a girl? Of course, some of us are late bloomers. Some realise later in life that it is time to take care of our short comings. Therefore, while this test might not be foolproof, it does weed out people that are destined to stay in the social circle that they are born in.

2009-07-10T23:35:00.002+08:00

Every girl grows up dreaming of being a girl with the rich husband (or at least those in this little red dot do). And honestly, for those few who do actually find their rich other halves, even fewer of them actually find a rich guy who loves them for who they are inside. These rich guys probably grew up fending off the affections of girls who just want an easy life, give a little bit of sex in return for the unlimited credit on their credit cards, all the Pradas and the Guccis. Most end up with the cream of the crop - the hottest girls who end up being their flower vases (hua ping as the Chinese call it). Both sides benefit - the girls get all the Pradas and Guccis, the guys get the hot babes they want to do it with.

Prostitutes however, don't get that much pampering from that guy who screws them for a few loose change and leaves in about half an hour. Yet essentially when you consider the exchange, it is the same - sex for money.

Steve has always wondered, what difference is there between a girl who wants to be a tai-tai and a prostitute? Don't they both just trade sex for money?

While those girls who want to be a tai- tai scream out in self defense that "well a rich guy is more sophisticated, he can take care of me, he has more class, he is able to take care of whatever that pops out of my vagina" or whatsoever excuse they give to justify it, any guy would probably do the same if he was in love with that girl.

Given a choice between a guy who is rich and showers slightly less affection to the girl and a guy who is poor and showers a lot more affection to the girl, no prizes for guessing whose bed the girl will end up in.

But this is just survival of the fittest. The lions who can catch more prey will always get more and the best of the lionesses. The lions who can't catch that many prey will get less and the remainder of the lionesses. Love does not play a part in the selection - rational and reason does.

2009-06-03T02:33:00.003+08:00

Steve heard on a radio about a million years ago that if you wrote down a list of attributes and kept it somewhere (anywhere actually as long as you don't see it), you will meet the girl who fulfils all the criterias in your list within 6 months.

The Dream Girl List

Cute
Adorable smile (braces optional)
Hot would be awesome but not a must
Happy go lucky
Fun- loving with a slight dangerous edge
Faithful
Adorable laughter
Sporty and tanned
Sense of humour

Is it true?

2009-04-18T08:33:00.002+08:00

Throughout the ages, as empires rise and become a world power, whether by force or over time, their culture becomes the dominant culture. Even though in the civilised world we live in today, the culture of the world superpower becomes THE culture to follow. Take America for example. With them being the sole superpower in the world, everyone wants to follow the American culture, their way of life and live the American dream. Yet with their powers on a wane and an emerging China determined to usurp America as a world power, it won't be long before the Chinese culture starts to be the dominant culture.

For the sake of the ill- informed who want to know what this Chinese culture is like, whether it is good, the knowledgeable Steve would like to share his two cents worth on this matter (there's no stopping Steve once he starts rambling, as his biographer has found out).

For simplicity sake for our comparisons, Steve would like to define Chinese culture as a fusion of all the Asian cultures and American culture as a fusion of all the Western culture. Let's start with THE biggest difference between the two cultures - freedom of expression. While Western cultures promote freedom of expression - from speech to liberal views on sex and family, albeit in varying degrees, Asian cultures is all about restriction of expression. The physical embodiment of this can best be shown in the Muslim headdress, where females cover up for the sake of modesty. Even in the way Asians communicate - the Chinese do it in almost what can be termed as a dance of swords. You don't aim straight for the heart, you dance around waving your swords, clashing them and testing out the weak points - one doesn't speak his mind and go straight to the point, it's considered rude. While it might sound fanciful and highly confusing to the straight talking Westerners, what Steve feels is that it is a total waste of time and saliva. Most Asian countries often keep a watchful eye over their media - expression is highly restricted and creativity frowned upon. Other than oddballs Japanese and the Koreans, you don't hear much about Asian creativity. China and India - the two biggest Asian countries are nothing more than a huge land of imitators and pirates. For every Yahoo or Google, there's always the Sima. For every Adidas superstar, there's always a Chinese version of the superstar with 4 stripes. The highly formal and rigid culture of the Asian culture is impeding the creativity of the Asian people.

The next biggest difference would be well, how we perceive life and all that is around us. Westerners live their life with passion - love, work, anything. Asians, on the other hand, perceive life as a duty. You seldom see a Chinese couple expressing their love in public, as opposed to the Westerners. Love in their lives is nothing more than duty - sex is nothing more than just making babies to carry on the family line. Which is highly surprising that the karmasutra originated in Asia. One would expect Asians to do nothing more than missionary style. Shouldn't life and love be filled with passion? What's the point of doing anything as a form of duty, to the country, to the extended family line, to each other? We live only once - shouldn't it be lived to the fullest? Worrying about future generations is like worrying that the sun will not rise the next morning - utterly pointless.

Steve can go on the whole day on this topic of how much Western culture trumps the Asian culture of being a bunch of total hypocrites but the poor biographer is suffering right now. Once Steve starts, he tends to ramble on and on. To conclude the first part of this, Steve just want to say, for the sake of the world, let's hope that China doesn't succeed in being a world power and fades into anonymity.

Disclaimer: Steve does not mean to offend anyone with this post but he does have really strong views on how fucked up Chinese culture is. For angry Asian lawyers and governments who cannot face up to facts and would like to hunt him down and sue him to his last penny, Steve has gone into hiding in the caves of Afghanistan. He hopes to prove to be as elusive as Osama bin Laden.

2009-04-09T19:24:00.001+08:00

What is a person who does not enjoy life,

What is life if it has no love,

What is love if it has no passion?

2009-03-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

2009-02-23T07:50:00.004+08:00

Nice guys finish dead last.

2009-02-01T23:18:00.003+08:00

Imagine a locked box.

Imagine that inside this locked box, there is that something that will make you the happiest person in the world is inside that locked box. However, being a locked box, to see its contents, naturally one would need a key to open it. Unfortunately, the only way to get the key is to convince the owner of the key to give you that key.

Lastly, imagine that, the locked box is unique and special for each of the many billion individuals on this planet.

This locked box is a funny thing - how pretty the exterior of the box has absolutely no co relation with the interior of the box. The locked box can be flat and narrow like IKEA's boxes, or it can be HUGE. Of course, as they say, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but most people do go for the boxes that are shaped like an hourglass, rather than the HUGE boxes. However, different people have different experiences with this mysterious locked box.

Some are able to get the key to open it relatively easily. They open the box, try out the something in the box and if it's not what they are looking for, they return the key to the owner of the key and continue in the search for their unique box. This group of people have the highest probability of finding the right box, because with a little bit of luck and a dash of perseverance, they will eventually find their box and live out their life happily ever after.

Some simply give up, preferring to not take part at all.

There are also some who have to go through many tests to satisfy the owner of the key that they are worthy of it. This test can be a test of time, test of looks, a test of anything, even a test of distance. Till they get to open the locked box, they have to rely on their gut feeling that they are not wasting their time on the wrong box and hope that they will eventually get to win over the key. For there are others wait a lifetime for that key and never do get to open that box. This hope is sustained by pure stupidity, pure faith or sometimes promises of the owner of the key, or even a combination of all of the above.

The remainder just settle for the wrong box, simply because they grow tired of the incessant need of having to prove that they are the one worthy or simply because they are running out of time.

Sadly, we are unable to choose which of the above category we fall under (other than those who give up being in the hunt by choice). We all hope to be in the first category but it depends really on the card that fate deals you.

And there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.

2008-11-08T11:17:00.002+08:00

Change has come in the form of Barack Obama- he embodies hope and optimism in these trying times. Yet for every American who voted for change, there is another American who does not like his policies or more likely than not, is unable to get over the racial barrier.

Steve risks being stoned by saying that he does not think Bush is that bad a leader as the world made him out to be. Yes, he started 3 wars; yes, he turned a budget surplus into a huge deficit; yes, in his watch, there is a global recession that threathens to dethrone America as the world's superpowers. But even for the best planners in the world, despite care being taken to take care of all the little details, there still remains the element of luck. Bush IS highly unlucky and there was little he could have done in any of the situations. If Bush had not done anything after September 11, America would have been viewed as weak and there will be much more terrorist attacks on her soil. Chasing the Muslim extremists and dismantling their network eventually led to 3 wars and despite all the blame on him, what would you have him do? Sit back and wait for more attacks? Or hit out at the core of the extremists to make sure attacks on innocent Americans do not happen again? And once a war is started, you cannot expect America to pull out and leave a void? The void left behind will only spark more chaos and a new and worse dictator will take his place. These 3 concurrent wars led to a huge deficit, reversing all Clinton had done in his terms in office.

Which brings us to the global crisis. Yes, the President has to ensure that the economy is running smoothly. But the deficit as a result of the wars was largely unavoidable- waging wars is rather expensive. A leader is only as good as his team- even Greenspan, largely acknowledged as one of the greatest economist before this crisis, could not imagine the long reaching consequences of easy credit. All that he had learnt from books about free markets did nothing to predict such a scenario from ever happening. Alas for the two, their names and reputations went down the chute with this crisis.

Can Obama turn things around? The democrats in power means trouble for the world- lesser free trade and more protectionist policies. It is tempting to say that protectionist policies is what America needs right now to reduce the growing deficit. But the deficit boils down largely to the wars and America losing her competitive advantage. Rather than reducing the growing deficit through protectionist policies (which only works in the short run), Obama should and must do something about the education system. Only then can America rise from this and be counted. It is always the darkest before the dawn.

Yes we can.

2008-11-04T01:41:00.000+08:00

chocolates w love (:

2008-10-27T00:27:00.002+08:00

The world is in a huge mess ever since Steve had granted us one of his interviews. With examinations looming near, we should expect his next interview not to be anytime soon. But Steve HAD to give his two cents worth on this huge mess.

The biggest and most worrying one of course, would be the financial crisis that has seen revered financial institutions like Lehman Brothers collapse, the state of Iceland no less declare itself bankrupt, bailing out of AIG and others. While US has to take blame for its mismanagement of its fiscal policies, one can honestly say that no one, not even Alan Greenspan himself, could have envisioned such a carnage in the financial markets. Who knew that capitalism would have such flaws? We had always learnt that free markets will always correct itself- Karl Marx must be laughing in his grave that's for sure.

That being said, it is time for China to step forward and be counted. Showing the world that she is ready to step front and be a superpower via the Olympics is simply not enough. Sure, clap clap, the Olympics was a spectacle and a success; however, people recognise a true leader not from peace time, but rather in times of crisis. And there's no better time for the world to recognise China as the emerging superpower. It is simply not enough for China to say "if we keep our house in order, it'll be better for the world". Would it step forward and lead the world out of this crisis? Only time will tell.

It amuses Steve to read about the ex NTUC chief coming forward and organising rallies about the mis- selling of the DBS minibonds. While Steve is sure that there would be cases of mis- selling, Steve is not entirely sure that the blame is all on the banks. You can read about retired teachers and businessmen saying that banks had missold these products to them- all they wanted was a fixed deposit. One even was quoted to saying she said she had a low risk profile, yet the relationship manager ticked growth on her form. For God's sakes- Steve is sure that these people are all adults. Why oh why then did you not tell your relationship manager then? Surely as adults, we should take responsibility for our actions? Should we buy a camera, realise that it is not what we wanted because we had not taken time and effort to find out the specifications and go whining back to the shop saying that we were misled? All these efforts, while admirable, risks making our tiny island a laughing stock. Would these people be complaining if they had reaped the additional profits had Lehman Brothers not collapsed? Sadly that's what an efficient and absolutely top notch government has created- a nation of needy whiney people who are unable to take responsibility for their greed. How many had come forward and said, "I made a mistake. Lehman Brothers collapsing had as much possibility as I sprouting wings and learning how to fly. My bad."? One cannot simply plead "I may know English but I do not understand all the jargon"- afterall who understands specifications of cameras or mobile phones when we buy them? Carl Zeiss lens could mean lousy third rate lens for cameras for all Steve knows. It is sad that people do more research buying a mobile phone than research on the fund that they are sinking their entire life savings in. It is even sadder that our adults living on this tiny island are irresponsible and not man enough to admit their own mistakes.

While the government cannot say this outright without hurting the feelings of these delicate people, Steve has to applaud moves by DBS and Hong Leong Finance who had taken steps to refund people who are the most affected by this financial crisis- retired people with little education, even they were absolutely no obligation to do so. With no action being done, society risks descending into anarchy.

Steve feels that had US not shocked the world with this global meltdown, the world would be abuzz with this melamine milk scandal. While China had always been top notch at sweeping its scandals under the carpet until it is absolutely impossible to do so anymore, this melamine milk scandal really outdid itself. With its notoriety for lack of human rights, this is simply not doing its reputation any favours. Steve understands that had China released news about the melamine milk scandal when she knew about it, the Olympics would not have been as successful, but human lives are at stake. Would other countries have the same as what China had done? One can only speculate.

Disclaimer: These are Steve's views and is not meant to inflame any anti- (insert country or organisation name) sentiments.

2008-10-05T18:03:00.002+08:00

2008-09-15T10:55:00.001+08:00

A "Please call for our sales assistants to assist you" sign in China:

Hilarious.

2008-09-03T23:39:00.001+08:00

Waiting for an answer from above

Why chase the rest when you can wait for the best?

2008-08-25T22:54:00.002+08:00

What can a mere mortal do when even his God says no?

2008-08-15T12:01:00.003+08:00

As how all good fairy tales start, it all begins with once upon a time. Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there lived a king. He was a good king but he did not like to be seen. The good king promised that should his people follow his wishes written in a book, one day they could live with him in his huge castle. However, the thing was that even though his words and wishes were written in a book, but they were subject to each individual interpretation.

So good the king was until his people could not decide how to pay homage to him. After many years of violent persecution of one another, despite the king's creed pleading of loving thy neighbour, his people decided that they form clans based on how they wanted to pay homage to him. Silly as it seems, that the same people in the same kingdom paying homage to the same king albeit in ways that they thought were deemed fit, began to pull apart over time. While the offspring of the clans automatically became part of the clan they were born in, they were allowed to change allegiances to another clan should they deem that they prefer another method of paying homage.

Over time, leaders of certain clans began to get friendly with each other and they decided to sign treaties with each other to be allies. Yet some leaders could not see eye to eye with each other and declared that their clan was not to mix with other clans, citing a paragraph in the king's creed that "Do not yoke with non-citizens. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Hardliners of this belief felt that non- citizens included people from other clans, despite the fact that at the end of the day, they paid homage to the same king. And they were called kingdom-ers. Yet hardliners continued to cast other clans that they could not see eye to eye with in bad light, comparing them to evil and saying that they were differently yoked and not equal in the eyes of the king.

Enter the protaganists- in the clan of Cat, there lived a being called a pok and in the clan of the Mets, there was also a being called weirdo. In this island where this kingdom was situated, it was customary for 2 people who could feel a connection to partake a journey together. This journey was long- it might be one week, one month, one year, ten years or even for the rest of their lives. Yet this journey could not be taken alone. It was not going to be easy, crossing treacherous mountains where the two people would be tested in various ways but if their connection was strong, they would be able to overcome all these. If a correct route was taken, they could be walking in meadows full of beautiful scenery and flowers and they would be in bliss.

Pok and Weirdo felt this connection and Pok felt that this journey was best undertaken with Weirdo. Unfortunately for both parties, the leaders of their clans had not seen eye to eye yet. The Mets felt that of all the other clans, the Cats were the ones that they felt were the breakaway clan in the way of paying homage. Sadly, they also cast the Cats together with evil and together with all people from another kingdom altogether. Weirdo was bound by her clan's interpretation of the king's creed and was torn between the connection she had with Pok and her clan's interpretation. After a long conversation in the carriages that linked the kingdom together, Pok told her to think carefully what she wanted. In the end, she came to a conclusion that her clan's interpretation was the most important thing to her and for now, she didn't think it was possible to partake this particular journey. Pok was sad but he had promised to respect her choice.

If there was few things that Pok believed strongly in, one of them was that there can never be too many wrong things or stupid things that we do in life, but they can only be too many regrets. Life is short and we should make the most of it. We should follow our hearts and indulge in whatever we feel like doing at the moment, if it does not cause harm to others. Who knows what tomorrow might bring? We might be dead or the person we want to say "I love you" to might be dead and we'll regret it for the rest of our lives. Otherwise, why should one have a heart? If we were meant to think rationally, we would not have a heart. Religion and love are irrational things and need to follow faith as well as our hearts respectively, and the mind should never come into play. Overthinking about irrational things is akin to rationalising that a journey is going to be a failure and you would get lost before you even look at the map and take your first step on the journey.

Should you still be waiting for a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after", you are wasting your time. There is no happy ending. While this story started off with a fairy tale beginning, life often makes a mockery of us and a fairy tale ending does not exist for most of us. Steve is highly apologetic about this, but the truth hurts.

You are my wonderwall.

2008-08-10T15:31:00.004+08:00

Random thoughts on religion have been bombarding Steve's mind recently. No answers come to mind as of yet and he hopes that someone might be able to answer him one day.

The Bible is open ended and is open to questions. Over time many people have come up various ways of interpreting the Holy Word, giving rise to many branches of Christianity. What gives man the right to interpret God's word and impose rules based on his interpretation? What if his interpretation of the Bible is wrong? Who is a man to say his version is right and whose version is wrong? Or all are right and it just depends on who convinces you?

If religion itself cannot be fully explained and it requires a certain degree of faith and trust, how then can solid rules be placed on something that cannot be fully understood? It's almost like trying to put handcuffs on a gust of wind. Like the Joker says in "the Dark Knight", people fear things they cannot control, so are this self imposed rules just to make us less fearful of things that we can't fully understand?

Religion reinvents itself over time to suit the needs of man. If not, religion will get obsolete and it will lose its followers. While the core teachings of love and peace and believing in one God does not change, the less important things do change over time. How then would one know if man made rules and restrictions of today will hold water tomorrow? Won't our painful decisions based on someone's interpretation of God's word today not be even considered as time passes?

Even in religion, politics play a major role. The leader of a branch of Christianity might sign a treaty with another branch today. Due to the treaty, new rules come into play. Tomorrow he might be disposed and the new leader decides that the treaty does not stand. Does that mean that the rules imposed yesterday do not apply today?

Would we ever know the answers to these questions?

2008-06-03T00:25:00.002+08:00

2 Corinthians 6:14 - "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Religion can be a complicated thing. At times it seems that it doesn't know what it is trying to say and contradicts itself. What type of purportedly all- loving God that preaches love and tolerance follows up with "my dear believers, do not mix or get romantically involved with a non- believer"? Love thy neighbour it says, and yet do not be yoked together with unbelievers. What happens if your neighbour is a non- believer? Love him, yet do not get near him. Huh? Does it even know what does it want?

Admittedly, Corinthians is not the word of God but rather a series of impassioned letters by Peter, who acted with the power of the Holy Spirit vested in him. But since almost 2 milleniums have passed since them letters were written, and that the Words of God can be easily manipulated to suit the needs and the mood of the current population, it is reasonable to believe that any glib speaker of stature can mislead the masses with his own interpretation of the Scriptures. After all, the original author of the letters cannot defend what he wrote. While it is unfair to compare pastors and priests to an evil person like Hitler, it can be seen that a good public speaker can easily mislead the masses as how Hitler did with his beliefs about the Jews. It would be even easier if they are uneducated, like how the Quran was butchered to spread such hatred amongst peace loving Muslims in the poorer rural areas.

Religion requires a fair amount of faith and cannot be explained with logic, which is why alot of great minds find it hard to embrace a religion. For every great mind that is a fervent believer, there is many other great minds who are non believers. It is oxymoronic that the same religions that preach love are one of the leading reasons that divides the human populations and causes them to kill and hate each other. Is it that religions are fundamentally wrong or that the heads of religions are not doing a proper job of translating our scriptures? Or are humans just so unsuited to living with each other that despite all attempts by the major religions, we have to find a way to create conflict?

Despite all attempts to find God, the more Steve looks at it, the more Steve realises that it is getting more and more impossible for his to rekindle his faith. After all, the fundamental crux of a religion is to love and be true to his teachings, is it not? Yet, his teachings contradict and apparently love is only for his chosen few. Does that not remind you of protectionist policies by countries to "protect" their citizens? By not allowing free trade, countries are allowing for incompetency and inefficiencies for their own citizens, who are less motivated to improve themselves. By preaching that non- believers and believers should not mix, religions mean that people cannot come out and love thy neighbour. How then can people learn to love unconditionally, if they are unable to respect each other's beliefs? This results in religions banding together and not mixing, and in the long run, creates hatred for each other especially if a certain religion does better financially.

Steve is unable to believe anymore.

Disclaimer: These are all Steve's views and are not meant to incite any hatred or create conflict.

2008-05-23T16:31:00.003+08:00

Steve usually stays out of the more serious topics in his interviews with his biographer but as a testament to his growing maturity (he can't stay 21 forever), he has decided to try his hand at a more serious topic- the growing influence of China. For those who are more accustomed to Steve's random nonsensical posts, do stop reading- this post is more of the forum type of post, typical of those found in newspapers.

Anyway, with all the fanfare about China being the next world power and the rush to learn everything Chinese, one might be forgiven if he gets a little worried that his rice bowl might be broken by the most populated country in the world. However, Steve feels that those who are born after 1988 should not feel too threatened by the emergence of China. Granted, you will see several Chinese nationals all over the world taking up jobs of various levels but nothing to be worried about if you belong to the above age bracket. The problem with globalisation and advancements in technology is that too much information becomes available at the click of a button and not all of it is true. Heck, the topic addressed in this post might not even be accurate. Sieving through mountains of information, Steve has identified a few myths about China. While this might be a bad time to post about the motherland, considering the Sichuan earthquake and all, but do take things in perspective.

Myth 1: We should start learning Mandarin to converse with the 1 billion Chinese nationals

True, the government has always been a fan of bilingualism- learning English and our mother tongue. However, Steve believes that while it is quaint to talk to these Chinese nationals in the language they are most comfortable with, the Chinese nationals we meet nowadays are getting more affluent and heck, some of them do converse in English better than Singaporeans. While it has been a gross misconception that these Chinese nationals cannot speak in English, majority of these Chinese nationals in fact DO speak perfect fluent English. Times are changing, globalisation does have such an effect on every one. While the rest of the world is adapting to the rise of China, China on her part is ramping up her efforts to educate her population to communicate to the rest of the world. The most widely spoken language in the world is English, and with China opening up, these Chinese nationals are learning English, and fast. For all the rubbish that Russell Peters came up with, he had a point in saying that sooner or later we'll all be beige. The effect of globalisation has that effect and the language barrier that once was identified as a key component in helping improve the market is rapidly disappearing. Steve would hence like to reemphasize that learning how to converse in Mandarin might be an added advantage, the international language is now money and as long as there is money to be made, heck one could speak in sign language (no offense meant) and the Chinese people will still listen to you. Steve does feel that efforts to improve our net worth and creativity might be a better bet to stay competitive.

Myth 2: China is ready to step up and take over the mandate from the United States of America as the world's superpower

For all that is worth, China might be one of the oldest countries in the world but as most of us should know by now, as with people, an old country need not necessarily be a mature country. This is the main reason why people born before 1988 should not worry unduly about the increasing influence of China. While governments have a duty in trying to keep the country competitive by identifying ways to cope with it (in simpler terms, they have to think more long term than individuals who retire by 65), Steve does not forsee China taking over the mandate as the world's superpower anytime soon. China is just coming to terms of being a superpower, almost like how a child comes to terms when he comes of age. Being a superpower has many responsibilities- regulating one's economy, creating liquidity (is this the correct word for it?) for the rest of the world, meddling in rogue nations' politics among the most important. China, however fulfils none of the above, and is still grappling with creating job opportunities for the rest of the world.

The immaturity of China can still be seen in several areas, and until it can settle these main points, it is still not ready. These main points however are rather major and take a few generations before it can be rectified. Some points include:

Taiwan and Tibet. Instead of concentrating on correcting the increasing income divide, the government seems to be concentrating on preventing these states from gaining independence. Already possessing a huge amount of land, China seems to be rather petty in this manner- it seems to be desperate for homage. Granted, Taiwan could add a few points to the GDP but still? You don't see like California or New York to be raising in rebellion and fighting to be independent. Steve feels that these are just to deflect attention from the more important issues at hand for the Chinese government. For example, whenever Dr. M faced a problem with the economy or a major problem, he would stroke the tensions and volley criticisms against this little red dot. Nationalism is often a great way to deflect attention from bigger issues like income gap.
Human Rights and intellectual property. Without proper control over human rights and intellectual property (especially the latter), the companies that take the lead in innovation and set the pace in the industries will be afraid to start up base there. This despite the highly skilled workers who are willing to work at a lower price. Without freedom of speech and basic human rights, how can one expect creativity to be sparked? Unless China can find a way to protect intellectual property and keep piracy that is so rampant under check, she can never fulfil her potential.

Myth 3: China will overtake US as the current superpower is mired in the sub prime crisis

Although the economy of China is expanding rather rapidly, and US is in various degrees of recession, depending on whose opinion you listen to, China will not be able to be an economic powerhouse so soon. The stock market of China can be considered an infant, and with the lack of accountability, investors with the knowhow and the capital to do so are cautious in investing in Chinese companies. Hands up those who read about scandal after scandal of these Chinese companies, where the true numbers of the companies as vague and "under- the- table" as the government. Corruption is another issue here. Money and influence still plays a key role in deals. The infamous "guanxi" is another thing that is hindering the progress of the Chinese society. Moreover, why the government is so anxious to cool the economy is simply because if the government does not control how fast the country grows, the increasing income gap will result in unrest, especially in the country sides and derail what the government is doing. Much has to be done to help the poorer rural states reach the wealthiness of the "Shanghais" and the "Beijings", before the economy can be given a freer rein.

Chinese yuan is still pegged to the US greenback and is seriously undervalued. As US import more and more Chinese goods, and export less and less to China since it is cheaper for Chinese consumers to get their goods from other countries due to the exchange rates, more and more US greenback is moving out of the country, increasing the trade deficit and causing inflation in US. As more and more US dollars go out of the country, there is a shortage of US dollars in the country, leading to an increase in exchange rates and the stronger US dollar makes US goods less competitive to the world. While part of it could be attributed to Bush's war efforts in Iraq, Chinese government is doing its best to bring down US in terms of competitiveness and social unrest (whether consciously or unconsciously, though Steve thinks it's the latter) While this would strengthen its case to be the sole superpower, Chinese yuan has to be the currency that other countries peg theirs to. Till then, it would be yet another superpower wanna- be.

With the Bush administration finally coming to an end, strong leadership is required to steer the troubled nation back on course. Obama looks like a likely candidate, and only time will tell if he is the man. But with strong leadership, US still has the potential to continue being the world's reigning superpower.

Myth 4: China is proving to the world that she is ready to take over from US

A superpower is defined as a nation who is highly influential in the world's circles. Like a superhero, she has to meddle in the affairs of other countries for the greater good. Potential to do so as well as financial clout does not make a nation a superpower, just another permanent member in the UN. US has time and time again, whether she was right or wrong or because of oil, stepped forward and provided the muscle to force rogue nations to toe the line (Iraq and N Korea among others) China, however, is friends/ allies with some of the rogue nations like N Korea and it's role in Sudan means that it is not doing what a superpower needs to do. When it comes to peace keeping troops, the proportion of troops sent is pathetic. Comparing the size of the US army and the Chinese army, while the size of the two armies are similar, the US troops sent to Iraq are easily three times the Chinese troops sent. Having financial clout and a huge army and yet not doing anything, means China is still a wanna- be, along with India. China has to clean up its human rights record, take up a bigger role in the international peace keeping efforts and make the government more transparent if it is to stake its claim.

In conclusion, Steve feels that the people born before 88 should not worry unduly about the rising power of China. The problems China must overcome before it overtakes the US are rather serious and potential derailing, and should buy us some time. And to people born after 88, Steve and the biographer would like to wish you all the best.

2008-05-20T17:37:00.002+08:00

The problem with us homosapiens is that we never like people imposing their will on us. The thought that we had some part to do with decision making and we had a choice, will make us agree to the stupidest concepts people in the position of power come up with. Steve would like to share a story about a brilliant old man and his brilliant ploy.

You see, in this little island called Pulau Nanyang, there lives this old man with a mane that rivals Einstein in terms of awesome-ness. He came up with this brilliant idea that by squeezing three people in a room, he could solve the entire space problem that besiege tiny countries. It is almost like asking two families to stay together in a HDB flat because we have no more space to build flats. How this problem of the lack of space arose can be put down to people having implementing policies faster than common sense can keep up. In all organisations of various sizes, leaders must always think whether their resources can support any new ideas before they implement them. Yet, on this brilliant little island, this brilliant old man wanted to house every single foreign student, every freshmen, and every other person who wanted to put his postal code as "Pulau Nanyang". Yet, by not capping the number of foreign students as well as not being able to expand the borders of Pulau Nanyang so as to accomodate the increase in numbers, this brilliant old man created a ticking time bomb. So to defuse the bomb, he suggested the triple sharing concept, also known as the sardine concept. Without consulting anyone, he went full steam ahead, expecting no resistance from a population who have been brought up obeying rather than questioning.

There was a huge hue and cry from this population. An email was sent out to the rest of the population by the labour union, asking them to wear a black shirt in protest, and calling in the media. Playing the media card was a brilliant tactic- with the new batch of potential intake choosing between the universities, this was the sort of negative publicity he could ill afford. He then came to an agreement with the labour union- the triple room sharing decision would be suspended for the time being. The labour union agreed and the protest was off. This brilliant old man knew that if he was to force the decision on the student population again, there would be another protest and uproar. What else could he do?

The only option left to this old man would be the indirect method. By raising the minimum number of points required to stay in Pulau Nanyang, a large number of students would be unable to stay on. When asked, the brilliant old man could always say, "Hey, this is precisely the reason why the triple room sharing was proposed. Now do you guys want triple room sharing?" Who could argue this compelling logic? The desperate students would have no choice but to accept the ruling of triple room sharing and the brilliant old man would have averted the protest, negative publicity and still be able to get the students to accept the ruling. Wasn't it just brilliant of this old man? In one superb move, he is about to checkmate and win the chess game.

2008-05-17T02:59:00.004+08:00

As can be seen from the tags, Steve has been AWOL-ing for a period of time. Thankfully, thanks to yours truly, the highly resourceful biographer of Steve has been combing the jungle- both concrete and natural, leaving no stone unturned. With superb hunting skills that would have found even Osama bin Laden or Mas Selamat, he has found Steve and dragged him to do another superb interview and earn his well deserved 20 cents.

Anyhow, there is an art to cope with the globalised rat race. If you thought the rat race was pretty bad in the past, someone must have fed the new rats steroids. The rat race is getting faster, more difficult and as Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" would say, "LEGEN- wait for it and I hope you are not lactose intolerant cos the next word is- DAIRY!" And as with all races, we all need a pit stop once in a while. Sure, 14 days of leave is great but 14/365 is almost like 1 cent. And in this fictitious little red dot island that we leave in, 1 cent has been weeded out like, well, a weed. From time to time, we need little excuses to break social commitments that are frankly a waste of time and do the things we wanted/ love/ wished to do. Therefore, in this yet another priceless Steve post, we bring to you the art of making excuses.

The Art of Making Excuses

The art of making excuses has been refined and perfected over time, and passed down from generation to generation. There are, obviously several levels to it and due to the time that we use this excuse considerations and requirements.

Requirements:

An excuse to break a commitment cannot be too long, nor can it be too complicated. It has to have a dash of apology and yet cannot be seen as you can do something to make the appointment. It has to be seen as really no choice, and that much as you would have love to make that date, you can't.

Considerations:

Of course, there would be a lot of considerations to make in the creation of that elusive perfect excuse.

Firstly, are there any future repercussions? For example, if you do need to work for the person and your reputation is at risk, your perfect excuse should not put you in too bad a light and cannot make you look like a goofus. Your excuse would have to be of a higher level. However, if you do not care or there are no repercussions, then of course, your excuses need not have the sophiscation of a bottle of wine on a picnic.

Secondly, can it be countered? Excuses that can be countered will fall flat on its face and worse, it will result in you being branded the boy who cries wolf. Worst, you would have to make the meaningless date. Your trail has to be covered up in a way a spy would be proud of.

Thirdly, the timing has to be impeccable. It cannot be too early. Too early when not everyone has been notified of it or when the time, place and event has not been set in stone might mean the event being moved to accomodate you and you really don't want that. Anyway, Steve recommends that one remembers what excuse that he has given and when. It would be rather hilarious to have one celebrating grandpa's birthday twice in a year.

In this hilarious world we live in, even our excuses are gendered. Some excuses that are gendered female might be- time of the month, need to go to the gyne, etc. You get Steve's drift.

After all the considerations, you move on to the different levels of excuses. You do not want to lay on too thick an excuse for missing a simple date nor do you want it to be so flimsy so that when the wind blows, everything crashes.

The Levels of Excuses:

Level 1- The primary school level (Excuses here should be used only for occasions that have no repercussions whatsoever or you simply don't care. And as the name suggests, leave these excuses in primary school). These excuses include a wide range of variations of "I am not allowed to do this/ no permission", which pretty much shows how kept one is. If you want to show how independent you are, Steve advises you to steer clear of this level.

Level 2- The adolescent level. Of course, as we grow up, we cannot keep using excuses like my parents don't allow me to do this. Imagine telling your superior that. This level includes the classic "family matters" excuses that everyone knows that it's fake 90% of the time but yet cannot do anything about it. Grandparents birthday, parents ill, sisters got thrown into prison, you get the hint.

Level 3- The adult level. Ah the creme of all excuses. The primary school level and the adolescent level of excuses are horribly passe and under microscope, they simply hold as much water as a broken water bag. Anyhow, as much as this level of excuse is highly sophiscated, Steve recommends that you refrain from using excuses from this level too often. Too much of the good thing sometimes is an overkill. These, however, can be further subdivided into 2 categories- the ones with the repercussion of making yourself look bad and the ones that don't. A brilliant one that makes you look bad however would be one that goes like "Hey sorry. I got really wasted at my friend's birthday party last night and yeah got a hangover. Just woke up. Sorry dude".

-The End-

2008-04-09T15:08:00.003+08:00

Steve's dictionary

screwed [pronounced as "screwed"].

Meaning:

1.

2.
3. Me- this sem

2008-03-30T13:34:00.002+08:00

In the words of a char siew bao, helloz waha boo uber boo whatever man. ;P

2008-03-23T14:54:00.002+08:00

Life is like a game of mahjong- if fate deals you a lousy set, you have to do something about it. Either you live with your lousy set and make the best out of it, or you do something about it and dump the cards you don't want. Either way, you don't go whining to the rest of the table about how crappy that set is.

The most irritating thing in life is someone whining to you about how fate dealt him or her a bad hand and then when you go "so what are you going to do about it?", they give you a blank look.Steve does not like the course he is stuck in. Sure, he could make the best out of it- graduate with a degree, slog it out for 10 years and then retire as a partner in one of the big four. But it is not his cup of tea and he is determined to do something about it. It is time for Steve to look at the big picture and move on to achieve his goal of making his first million by 25 and being listed in Forbes by 35. Things like hall life become minute when Steve looks at the big picture. Sure a fun packed hall life would make university life more interesting. But at the end of the day, it is only 3 years. Somehow Steve feels that it is impossible to change the stifling culture in Pulau Nanyang or hall for that matter. So he shall stop his "make hall life interesting" campaign and focus on things that matter. It is time to make a change in perspective.

So for those buggers who whine about how they are fat and everyone mocks them, do something about it- go to a bloody slimming centre for god's sake or start dieting. For those buggers who whine about being ugly, there's always plastic surgery. It's time for change.

2008-03-18T17:05:00.006+08:00

Project Work- Part 2 of Steve's guide to living in Pulau Nanyang

Culture- Perfect if you are horribly conservative and your mindset is in deep freeze mode in the 18th century. Language spoken here is mandarin (haven't these people heard of this language called ENGLISH?)- another plus point if you can't string words together to form a sentence in MS word without getting it underlined in green and red.

Tag line in PR stunt- cosmopolitan place. Right somehow Pulau Nanyang made up of mainly Tiongs and people from our sunny little island does not seem THAT cosmopolitan. Sprinkling a few exchange students from Europe or a few from neighbouring countries and calling it cosmopolitan is like taking a little lime and squeezing it into a tank of water and calling it authentic lime juice. Nice try there Pulau Nanyang.

CHAPTER 2 OF "STEVE'S GUIDE TO LIVING IN PULAU NANYANG"- A GUIDE TO DOING PROJECT WORK (ESPECIALLY APPLICABLE TO BUSINESS STUDENTS)

Okay for those of you poor souls who have no choice or you have no qualms about demeaning yourself by immersing yourself into this tiong culture, the only hope for one to find girls that look normal (Type 1 or Type 2) would be in either in the Mass Comms or the Business schools. Somehow the Type 3 dominates the other faculties, sadly. Steve would like to share some of the Type 1 or Type 2 with the other faculties, but figures that the guys wouldn't appreciate such delicacies. Oh well.

If you happen to subscribe to the Business school in Pulau Nanyang, be prepared for tons of projects. And Steve has a special tip for you when it comes to choosing your project group. While this is not an absolute tip, it works in majority of the cases. As with all good theories, you first survey the data and put it into a graph to draw conclusions from it. When put into a graph, Steve sees a trend:
And as all goods in a supermarket comes with a price tag, all good theories come equipped with assumptions. Should these assumptions not hold, the theory does not work in that particular scenario. Here are the list of assumptions:

The group is a bunch of random strangers thrown together by means of fate and they have no prior knowledge of each other. Each person is perfectly normal. If the group knows each other, then this theory does not hold since they would know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Backstabbing is not an option (or a last resort) for friends coming together to do a project.
The girls do not come from the local polytechnics and have made it to Pulau Nanyang via the A level route. Girls from polytechnics can think alot more out of the box and presentations can be in more forms than a powerpoint presentation.

Steve acknowledges that there are certain shortcomings to this theory.

Short coming 1: The gradient of this curve is affected by the nature of the project. The more a project requires thinking or bullshitting, the steeper the gradient of the graph and the greater proportion of girls in a group, the worse the group will do. For projects that requires little thinking or creativity, such as statistics, the gradient becomes less steep and holding the proportion of girls in a group constant, the group will not do as badly.

Conclusion- Assuming that the project requires only average creativity, and that the girls all take the traditional route to enter Pulau Nanyang as well as the fact that the people are from a random pool of people where no one knows each other, the greater the number of girls, the worse a group performs in projects. The optimum number of girls in a group should be 1, taking into account all other factors.

-End of Chapter 2 -

To be continued...

Disclaimer: Same as Part 1 of this book.

2008-03-14T23:21:00.003+08:00

Some really weird stuff going through Steve's head right now-

A gaggle of giggly girls
A chock of chiobus
A bag of bimbos
A tablespoon of tiongs

The biographer has absolutely no idea where those rubbish came from. Probably due to the cold.

Steve hates nights more and more and dreads when they come. :(

Way?

2008-03-12T03:23:00.004+08:00

Steve finally caught a movie at the cinema after such a long time. Well considering how late it is now, and that Steve needs sleep in like 2 weeks of deprived sleep, Steve has requested his biographer to make this interview a short one.

The movie was pretty good (in his haste to make this interview chop chop and fast fast so that Steve can get his 12 hours of required sleep, he forgot to mention what movie he caught. Anw, for all that is worth, it was "Leap Years"). Steve is usually against watching made- in- Singapore and made- in- China shows. Reason?

The made- in- China shows usually end with you going what the fuck at the end of the movie. In short, it is always a feast for the eyes, lots of colour, lots of action where the hero can get through a million knives without a cut or a mosquito bite on him but very little substance. The ending is always horribly abrupt, like say "Curse of the Golden Flower" of Gong li tossing a cup in the air and Jay Chou starts singing, with the credits rolling in. Everyone in the cinema who is not a cheena pok and pro China will go "huh?" In short, watch made- in- China shows if you enjoy watching shows with a lot of hidden meanings and connotations (much like a literature homework assignment or maybe an OB creative writing assignment) OR you love Chinese New Year for all its Red stuff and alot of bang and hoo ha and end up with an empty feeling of just wasting 2 days OR you simply are a cheena pok.

The made- in- Singapore shows are the ones that are horribly clique with HORRIBLE ACTING and horrible storylines. Steve always get a feeling that he has just finished watching a propaganda video after that (and a sense that the forever escalating movie price has been totally wasted) Perhaps it is so that the director is hoping to get sponsored by government bodies to recoup the losses made in the box office or something. Maybe, just a thought (PLEASE DON'T SUE STEVE). The plots are usually horribly atrocious. Steve wonders how many people died from laughing at the "I Not Stupid" shown overseas. People usually go "what do you do in your free time then" when Steve says he does not watch television. Well, considering that the rubbish showing on Channel 5 and 8 has worse story lines than a primary school kid's compositions. Heck, Steve has read mathematics problems with better storylines. It does not help that the acting is horribly mediocre at best. Steve has rolled his eyes at the shows so often that he has to go for surgery to help unstick his eyes and make them go back to their original positions.

Well, (maybe it wasn't such a short interview after all) Leap Years was a rather refreshing change even though for some strange reason, everyone seemed to speak with a slang. Simple storyline and probably one would have guessed the ending with a title like this, but hey, throw in a hot Wong LiLin (babe factor 10 for the hormonally charged guys) and good acting by the cast made it a watchable Singapore show (for once). It helped that the story unfolded in a very nice and smooth way for a change. However it is horribly disturbing to have to hear all the songs in the moive sounding like NDP songs. (Could they PLEASE get a better song writer?) While it might not go down in history as one of the best movies ever, but well Steve agreed that it was a movie worth watching. Here's to all our idealistic dreams that it might one day come true. Cheers :)

Disclaimer: As with all the posts, Steve has to go on with all the legal bullshit that says that these are all his thoughts only and has ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION TO CREATE LEGAL RELATIONS. He has gone into hiding till the next post, and the biographer has no idea where to hunt for him. Hence, all lawyers please concentrate your efforts on finding Mas Salamat instead.

2008-03-07T23:50:00.003+08:00

Steve shall sidetrack from his book for a while. He never ceases to be amazed by blind faith that staunch believers have, especially when they go through some trials in life and yet their faith in something so inate and cannot be detected by the 5 physical senses remain so unshaken. These people are almost like dogs (Steve does not mean this in a degrading way by the way. Steve loves dogs and the way they are not judgemental of you.)- no matter how much you beat a dog or half kill it, the dog will still put its utmost trust in you and still adore you.

Some prefer to call it looking at the big picture- after all God puts you through trials to test your trust and faith in him. Some are just more assured at the thought that someone is there overlooking and taking care of you. Some don't know the reason why, but it's a "safer" option. Whatever the reason, the bubble for Steve burst a long time ago. For Steve, God is just another fairytale- it started off with a "Once upon a time" and it should have ended a long time ago when God rose from the dead and there was a "happily ever after". Believers are just fanatics from the fan club, who believe that if they believe hard enough, the story might just come through. They are almost like the people who dress up as their favourite manga character and act out the scenes from the book every week.

Perhaps Steve is being too cynical. One might say that by not believing, God will forsake Steve. But Steve had already been walking this road alone for the longest time already. You think he might forsake Steve now? He has already forsaken Steve a long time ago. Believers always say that God has a greater plan for you. That is as optimistic as a gambler who keeps losing and saying that "I'll win my bettings back." Sure, he might win once in a long while but ultimately he will end up as a loser. Of course, there are always the lucky gamblers who win more than they lose. That's the greater plan for you. Blind faith, but applied differently.

"God always help those who help themselves"- that's almost like saying, "If you have enough money, you can buy anything from a shop, provided the shop has stock." Steve has concluded that believers are idealistic optimists. Perhaps it's better than being cynical. You would need all the innocence of a child to believe and lie to yourself that things will turn out great in the end.

Steve's sister got her A level results- BBC, D7. While it was not overly unexpected, it compounded the fact for Steve that God does not exist. She was the most staunch believer in God, always believing and trusting like a dog. She would spend all her spare time in Church. And now, she is probably not able to continue her studies in university and not get a chance to get a crack at a better life. Did God hear her pleas for his shining light and his endless mercy or whatever nonsense that you read? Steve would guess not.

Now girl, you know the reason why I stopped believing. I, not Steve, stopped believing in a fantasy story written some 2000 years ago.

2008-03-07T01:19:00.005+08:00

Girls- Part 1 of Steve's guide to living in Pulau Nanyang

With all the massive PR efforts by the 3 universities these few days before the release of A level results, Steve has decided to cash in on this and provide "Steve's guide to living on/ in Pulau Nanyang", in the words of the Student Union (by the student, for the student).

Location: Most northern part of this puny island we call home

Size: HUGE

Number of Halls: 16

Tagline for the PR stunt: I lead the way (almost like the blind leading the blind)

CHAPTER 1 OF "STEVE'S GUIDE TO LIVING IN PULAU NANYANG" THE FEMALE HALF OF PULAU NANYANG

For the hormone- driven male population who have put their names down for Pulau Nanyang, you guys might want to know what you have signed up for. Usually when a guy looks for life on a university (especially if he has wasted the last 2 years of his life), the most important thing he wants to know is if

The girls are hot?
The girls are gorgeous?

Steve has done a recee and done his research in a very systematic way. He has surveyed the existing male population and together come to the following conclusion about the female half of Pulau Nanyang.

Type 1: The hot babes and the good looking chicks. The stuff dreams are made up of. You know how girls all dream of a guy sweeping them off their feets some day? This is the genre of girls that take your breath away.

Availability: None. Too bad. Steve have concluded that the unattached and avaliable Type 1 girls are all taken up. For those ORD-ed personnel hoping to hitch up with the hot babes, the only way to get one of these is to be the 3rd party and then eliminate the competition. Dudes, you know what to do.

Type 2: These are the not too bad looking, average looking girls that go easy on the eye. While they aren't the head turners, they aren't exactly the scum of female population.

Availability: Available but for some strange reason, they all have this weird factor in them that makes them unavailable unless you possess certain qualities. Definitely not for the faint hearted. A respected doctor (Dr Biographer) concludes that this could be because a mild strain of dragon-batch-ititis has affected this type of females, making them extremely weird when it comes to the selection of the male population. Some examples of the predetermined criteria include religion conditions (for some reason it comes on rather strongly for those affected by the strain of dragon-batch-ititis) and the requirement for the male population to possess a third leg that is longer than it takes to wait for the highly inefficient shuttle bus service.

Type 3: These are the freak shows- ranging from the bean poles to the ginormous barneys. Enough said.

Availability: Available HAHAHAHAHAHA and Steve wonders why.

Let's not forget the *Special circumstances*

*Special Circumstances*: The only hope for the swinging singles out there. These are made up of those who have for some reason fallen out of Type 1 or a Type 2 that has woken up their idea.

Availability: Available and Steve regrets to add, since it's a scarce resource, it makes them highly valuable.

Good luck with girl hunting mates.

- End of Chapter 1 -

To be continued...

Disclaimer: Steve would like to add all the legal yada yada that these views are of his own and are not meant to offend anybody but rather, given tongue in cheek and that apple is in the eye of the beholder. Lastly, once the lights are off, they all look the same.

2008-03-01T02:02:00.003+08:00

Our hero Steve is currently facing a dilemma. It is pretty amazing how the turn of a semester and a mere six months could make one so unhappy. Last semester, Steve thought the world was his oyster. He had a great and busy hall life plus he had lots of fun attending lessons and those mass lunches and the mad mad times with his tutorial group mates. So much fun until he could put aside the hurt he was feeling after the painful breakup.

As the seriously over-used term goes, "all good things must come to an end", it did. Fate reared his ugly head and Steve was split from his tutorial group and thrown into the deep end with another tutorial group. While he still does meet up with the best tutorial group mates that anyone could ask for, but once a week is not enough. Where had those lunchs and studying groups and mambo sessions and outings gone to? Even with all those overwhelming projects didn't end up with the As, Steve had tons of fun. Throw together a serious person, a demented woman, a nonsensical dude and a guitar god, you get a pretty quirky group. They had Super Jieying the IT expert who could magically turn word documents into PDF format, Beyond Godlike Jervis who was the most disciplined of them, Guitar God Shaun who was Steve's pee buddy, and Steve. The group had trust and charisma and bonding. Now? Steve can't help but feel that he would get backstabbed during project work. The wavelength is totally different. NOBODY LISTENS TO F4 NOW THOSE GAY FUCKS.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the novelty of staying in hall had worn off and Steve is feeling more and more depressed about the conditions of life in hall. Don't believe those lies you read about or watch about hall life. In Hall of Residence 4, you get more ah tiongs that you can find, and a suffocating Chinese culture. Not that Steve has anything against the chinese culture, but finding people whose mindsets that is harder to open than the most stubborn bottle cap. Spontanity is harder to find than a hot babe in the hall itself. Life is going to take a turn for the worst next semester when the close friends that Steve has in Hall are all moving out. That means Steve will be all alone.

Steve has been trying to find an internship job at a investment company but to no avail. In the words of the head of Human Resource Dept, Steve should "try his luck at the big four". Steve had refused to believe that he would have to end up as an auditor or an accountant. Steve would rather drop out of school altogether than to have to end up as an auditor or an accountant. Life is not all about money. While it is true that it is what biatches go for and that it does make the world go round, money is not worth it if you don't have the time or energy to enjoy it. It seems that a degree in accounting is like being thrown into a deep pit and given a spade. "Dig," they say, "dig." There seems to be no way out at all. Should Steve leave his comfort zone and try his luck at Banking and Finance instead which does not guarantee a job? Or try his luck at a four year Quantative Finance course?

Steve is lost. And it doesn't help that when he is thinking about life, the hollow feeling that used to be filled by a certain someone keeps popping up like a bad penny. Howwwwwwwwwwww? Decisions have to be made and soon.

2008-02-11T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ah the joys and irony of wine appreciation- in a single picture, you get to see the unfairness of life to both sexes. Men age like wine while women, on the other hand, age like milk. Yayness anus. Peace out and Happy New Year folks. Love, Steve.

2008-02-06T22:48:00.000+08:00

There once lived a little boy in a far away town. You see, while he wasn't perfect, the thing was this little boy believed in a all loving God who would preside over him and protect him. He listened with wide open eyes all those stories of Noah the Ark and how a good man was crucified just to save the Earth. He hung those little placards with those little parables about footprints and shepherds. He saved the best spot on his desk for little statues of the Holy Family. He prayed every night to sleep. In short, this little boy believed and trusted in God. He loved his Lord God.

As he grew up, he was determined to serve the God that he loved so much and put so much trust in- he joined the Altar Boys Society, a group of young boys and men who served God at the altar. If the priest symbolised God in his heavenly kingdom, these boys symbolised the angels that served him. He spent a lot of his young tender years growing up serving the God he trusted in. He also reached a point in his life when he was contemplating leading a celibrate life and serving God in the best way- taking up priesthood. For the uninformed, that is the Catholic equivalent of signing on to the army. The difference is that instead of selling your soul to the devil, attaining priesthood was giving up everything and serving God.

But it was all not to be. Somehow when this little boy needed his Lord God the most, when this little boy was at his most vulnerable, he found only one set of footprints. Unlike the parable, there was no God carrying him over the rough parts of the beach. He was all alone. It was his feet making those footprints. He was devastated. All the things he believed in, all the things that he grew up learning, all the things that people had been telling him- God will be there for you, God knows what is best for you, God will save us all was simply not true. God had really forsaken this little boy. Doubts began to gnaw in the mind of this little boy.

Fast forward a few years. This little boy fell in love with a little girl. Little girl went overseas. Little boy loved this little girl so much and he prayed to his Lord God, "Please God, please, please make this work." But as with all the times when the little boy needed his Lord God, all he got was silence. It was as if little boy was talking to the wall. Little boy soon found out that little girl didn't love him back. The relationship was over. That was the last straw for little boy.

Faith is something like trust. At first, we all trust in each other. But when someone breaks that trust, somehow we simply can't trust that person again. Trust has to be earned back. Same with faith. Little boy has lost faith, perhaps forever. It would seem too far to say that God has let this little boy down. But God had not kept his promise of being there for little boy when little boy most needed his God.

Where is this Lord God for this little boy? Little boy yearns to go back to the time when he could blindly believe in something or someone will come and save us one day. It just felt so good to know that someone will be there for you, even if he does not come. But if someone you love tell you repeatedly again and again, "I'll be there" but does not turn up again and again, you find it harder and harder to believe in him the next time round.

Little boy is lost. There is no more God for him, it was just a lie that many people came up with many years ago to comfort themselves and passed down from generation to generation until the myth became so widespread it became known as a religion. Maybe one day, someone will come and tell little boy that God, like Santa Claus, simply does not exist.

Oh poor little boy. My Lord, my god, why have you forsaken me?

2008-01-10T14:48:00.000+08:00

It takes a brave man to die; it takes a braver man to live.

It takes a brave man to discard his God and not believe in things he cannot see; it takes a braver man to believe in a God he does not know if is a figment of his imagination.

2007-12-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

Steve attended his dearest brother's commissioning parade today and even though it's been almost a year since Steve has ORD-ed, he cannot help but continue to despise specialists and all that it stands for. Just comparing the grandeur and splendour of the commissioning parade to the passing out parade of the specialist corp is almost comical. It is almost like comparing a Proton car and a Ferrari. It's so poor a comparision that it even hurts to laugh about it. Steve should not dwell on this part here.

People will probably go "Let it go Steve, you have already freaking ORD-ed already. Stop harping over it." But Steve simply can't. It is all about the principle of it. Steve meant what he said when he went on and on about how there was no point in putting in much effort for the period towards ORD. Let Steve elaborate.

Steve believes that everyone has only so much energy in life and that they shouldn't expend their time or energy on things that aren't worthwhile or will have no results to show for it. It's almost like you have a certain number of credits and once you use them up, you can't have any more matey, it's time to go. After all, who in the world cares if you put in your best in the everything that you do? History does not bother about idiots who slog their way and do their best in everything; History bothers only about people who have succeeded or failed spectacularly (but who the hell wants to be remembered for mistakes?) Name Steve one person in history that didn't succeed and was remembered for putting his best foot forward in everything he did. It's the end that justifies the means, not the means that justifies the end. History tells us that.

And if the end does not justify the means, then why bother about it in the first place? Why bother being the best of the second class citizens? No one remembers people who win second, everyone remembers only the best. It simply doesn't make economical sense. It's almost like slogging your ass off everyday in a boring office job BUT at the end of the day when you retire, you go "What the hell did I achieve? I'm just another faceless person whom the company can easily replace and will forget me in like a year. I wasted my whole life and the company reaps the profits and what do I get?"

Hence, Steve's principle is- If he wants to do something, be the very best. If not, don't bother at all. After all, why waste energy when you could have put it into something more worthwhile? It is a pretty fucked up philosophy but oh well, at least you know if Steve is willing to do something, you can expect 200% from him instead of just 100% from the bugger who is willing to put in his best in all the things he does.

Disclaimer: Firstly Steve is VERY proud of his brother. Secondly Steve IS a second class citizen (Specs). Lastly, it is all Steve's personal view and is not meant to offend people who may not think the same way as him.

2007-11-29T05:36:00.000+08:00

You know how bedtime stories always end off with a "and they lived happily ever after"? You know how you always feel like feel so reassured that somehow even when the skies are dark and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, life will always turn out for the better? And at the end of your long tiresome eventful and OH SO NOT GOD DAMN FUCKING SMOOTH path, there will lie that pot of gold? Be it the money or the beautiful girl of your dreams that you were so enchanted with.

Let's not talk about books. They are fiction anyway. What about movies? Movies always have happy endings to cater to peoples' tastes. Somehow, everyone gets their just desserts. The nice guy gets what he deserves, the baddie gets his punishment, the dude will get his dudette and everyone ends the movie in merriment.

As many of you people might know, the point about this post is definitely not about life being a bed of roses. It is not. It is tough, it is cruel and it is always greener on the other side (erm Steve does not mean the netherworld but rather other's people's life is always better). If you are in a merry mood, PLEASE turn back. Steve has no wish to disturb your happy dreams or lives, especially with Christmas just around the corner and Santa (oh please bring me angelina jolie) packing his sleigh.

But seriously, what is all about these books and movies trying to make us feel better about our lives? Does making us believe that "Hey life aint that bad. Somehow we will muddle through somehow (to quote a Christmas song)" make us feel any better? Is it true that perhaps one day, just perhaps, we will all meet our soulmates and be satisfied with our jobs and our lives and die happy, with a smile upon our faces? Is it true what the Christains believe that God has a plan for all of us and that it be his will and not ours and that we all have to accept it whether we like it or not? And that we have to be man about it and "go through it as a learning process"? Is it true what Buddhism says about karma? That if you are good, somehow good begets good and that we will all get our just desserts? Is it true all these? Or is it just another bedtime story or a movie?

Hope. Man cannot live on a diet of hope alone. Nor can he live without it. But how do we know whether we will find our pot of gold? Is hope going to be our vehicle there or a shield or a sword? Love. It conquers all. It is bitter it is sweet. But will we ever find the sweetness of it? Will we all find it? Or it is only to a designated few?
Happiness. Satisfaction. Will we all be satisfied with what we have and will our efforts equal to our rewards? Does working hard mean we will get what we deserve? Does going to university mean anything? Does friendship last forever or is it just another illusion?

Drink Steve drink. Smoke Steve smoke. Run Steve run. Chocolates Steve chocolates. Slash Steve slash. It deadens pain but it does not make things go away. It is like taking panadol everyday just to make sure you don't have that headache.

Bad day Steve? I doubt it. No more. It's simply not worth it anymore.

2007-11-11T11:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, despite claims from Steve that he would grant his biographer an interview, so far he has not been able to fulfil it. Perhaps it could be Steve is too busy with his uni life (or so he claims) but his biographer thinks that Steve's life was too boring for the past few weeks. Anyhow, what with the finals being in 3 days time (okay Steve should start freaking out about how little he has studied in about 2 days time), Steve decided to grant his biographer another interview and share his thoughts about his pet topic- fat people.

As we all know, income gap around the world is growing larger as we all know and with the rich people earning more and more, somehow, they eat more and more. Look, the average American weighs probably more than twice the weight he would have weighed like ten years ago given he could have travelled in time ten years ago. However, the weird thing about these fat people is that for some strange reason, there seems to be 2 main groups of fat people.

The 1st category of fat people would go "Hey since the world discriminates fat people, so ask them to screw a monkey and FUCK OFF!" Perhaps it's anger. Perhaps it's hate. Steve would think it's a combination of both. Boy, these angry fat people can get quite nasty. Part 2 of their train of thought after asking people to fuck off would be "Since the world hates us fatties, let's give them more reason to hate us." Nasty fat people angry with the world obsessed with thin people. Hence, they shove in crowds, throw their weight around (literally and figuratively), yell at the timid skinny person who have no idea what wrong did he do (other than just being thin). You get it. They become the people you love to hate.

The 2nd category of fat people would be the nicer people to hang around with, and probably make you feel a little less guilty about ribbing those fat people if not for the 1st category of our horizontally challenged friends. These are the timid ones, the ones that would wallow in self pity and try not to be noticed. They would then be obsessed with trying to lose their lard and have very low self esteem about themselves. Gosh, it makes Steve feel alittle bad ranting about such challenged people.

Thankfully, there's a minority who tread the middle ground- namely, they have at ease with themselves and are fine with being fat. Their main theory is that, if ever a guy does fall in love with them, oh boy that's true love and that he is not going for looks. Steve would suggest in a sidenote that should any girl wonder about whether the guy loves her for her body or for her, she might want to consider ballooning up into a small whale.

As Steve types this, the category 1 of fat people and the champions of "it's okay to be fat but why do you have to discriminate them?" are sharpening their knives, probably wanting to skin Steve alive (for Steve's personal safety, the biographer refuses to disclose where Steve stays and that he is currently living in one of the caves in Afghanistan, hunting down Osama- in short, they can't be found/ contacted). BUT hey, if someone is unable to control his diet and does not even have the willpower to exercise when he is overshooting his healthy weight limit, bearing in mind that it is not healthy to weigh more than a whale and that people make fun of fat people, why make such a big fuss when people do make fun of you when you are fat? It's like asking to be beaten up in the street. You know if you point a middle finger at someone, he is likely to beat you up, WHY POINT THE FINGER? Too bad, life's unfair but we all have to live with it.

Disclaimer: Steve would like to clarify that he only has prejudice against fat people who are fat because of their lifestyle. Women who become horizontally challenged after childbirth or because of some rare disease, Steve would like to apologise for his anti- fat people campaign. For the rest of the fatties, Steve would like to go "YOU ARE SO FAT, THEN WHEN YOU JUMP FOR JOY, YOU GET FREAKING STUCK!!!!!"

2007-09-01T00:56:00.000+08:00

Steve would like to announce that he has never been happier (the biographer yawns and says so what?)

The workload is increasing by the day, there is freedom to sleep and run everyday and meet up with great people, there's JCRC Business Manager to run for, there's Dance sport, there's MAMBO!!! there's happening hall life, there's soccer, there's there's... ... So many things to do, so little time :) And Steve has never been happier.

Honestly, busy people with active social life and things that they love to do are probably the happiest people on Earth. Pardon this rather disjointed post- Steve is tired out and not thinking straight.

MAMBO rocks! It's amazing how a group of people doing like Singapore Workout type of motions can manage to make it look fun and be happy. If the world's leaders were to MAMBO together, there would be no war. Maybe it's because they were too busy laughing at each other looking stupid. Imagine Saddam doing "Together Forever" w Bush. And Abe doing "Square Room". Oh boy.

Steve sincerely hopes that life would continue this way. Happy happy happy.

2007-08-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

Announcement to make- Steve is back! Steve has been MIA for a rather long time now for a variety of reasons, most notably losing someone that he really loved and all the orientation camps. The biographer has been trying to track Steve down and getting him to sit down and talk but he either wasn't in the mood or he wasn't free. But no matter, Steve is now back and raring to go. So watch this space.

PS. Steve would like to extend heartfelt thanks for all the true friends who stood by him in the difficult times and would like to let them know that he is really grateful for it. Cheers.

2007-07-04T11:33:00.001+08:00

Steve has sworn never to believe in God again. (For those who have been in close contact with Steve, he has been going through a rough patch at the moment) Honestly, Steve has lost faith that the God who is supposed to be all loving and all those things that they tell you about him (Actually for those who don't, go to the dictionary and find all the good adjectives. That should roughly cover it) will actually hear him. The next time Steve ever needs help, he will turn to Mr Wall. Mr Wall is seriously very helpful. In fact, the next time you need answers and God is not there for you, you might want to try Mr Wall people. Both are very pleasantly silent and helpful.

Steve's faith has never been strong but the last straw would be events in the past week. Steve sounds bitter and maybe he is. What Steve is feeling right now is not sadness but rather disappointment. It is almost like you do all that is possible within your means to win a competition and you just need that little spark or that little push from God to make things work, but things just don't work out. That sort of disappointment.

As usual there are always 2 ways to look at that- the half full or the half empty glass theory. Steve could always do what most would do- PRAISE THE LORD when things are going your way and when things don't, OH HE HAS BETTER PLANS FOR ME. Believers can be just so optimistic. What a very nice and comforting thought that is. Steve could almost believe that theory.

Then again, there is another way to argue that. That what has Steve done for God that he has for him to listen to you? Well Steve would have to admit- nothing. But a similar concept would be like a political party in a country. Steve would have done nothing for them except to vote them in. What have YOU done for that political party? But they are expected to at the very least make life better, is it not? If the political party doesn't keep its promises over a long period of time, would you still vote them into office? Or would you simply just gloss over it and say that "Hey at least someone is in charge and they will keep their promises in the end?" There are 3 ways to go- the first would be "oh don't worry, they have better plans like making their pockets full and things will work out in the end", the second would be booting them out and the last would be simply lose faith and trust in the false promises of that political party. Steve falls in the 3rd category. He simply can't keep on going on deceiving himself that one day, just one day, God may actually take time out and say "hey, maybe I should listen to Steve this time".

Steve will probably go to hell for this. But God seems to be just so distant. It's almost like a king. You could beg, pray, beseech, hold tournaments in his honour, or do whatever you want, but ultimately whether he wants to grant you his favour, it's up to him. Sadly. Mere peasants and mortals simply can't do nuts. Oh well Steve is ranting.

And as usual, as the army people put it- Steve would have to cover backside. Here goes-

Disclaimer: Steve does not have any agenda against God, any political party and this represents his view and is not meant to incite any hatred or violence or cause any division between any religions.

2007-06-23T00:06:00.000+08:00

The poor biographer would like to apologise on behalf of Steve- mayhaps someone told Steve that when he gets philosphical, he is like SOOOOO cool. As Sherman in American Pie puts it, Steve apparently thinks that when he gets into that mood, he is the Stevie-nator, the ultimate sexual machine sent back in time to change the life of one lucky lady. Oh well, whatever it is, let's brace ourselves and tune in to another of Steve melodramatic nonsensical bucket of crap (the official definition for Steve's "philosphical" thoughts)

Apparently, since Steve has been having a lot of spare time recently, he has been having a lot of time to do thinking. As we all know (you DO know right?), when one has a lot of free time and his mind goes a wandering, the idle mind explores things that should not be thought about (there is a saying somewhere about idle hands and the devil but let's not go there. There as in down there. YOU know what I mean) Basically the idle mind plants seeds of doubts here and there and given MORE free time, as seeds do, they take root and grow and manifest in our heads (for the 50% blessed or cursed with the Y chromosome, it's not in THAT head). Sadly, these doubts grow into baseless fears. One will be presented with a lot of what ifs. The bad things about these what ifs is that all it does is to bring about a lot of unanswered questions. Don't you hate one annoying trait of the people living on this little red dot- the ability to complain about anything under the sun without giving any solution to how to solve the problem? Yeah, exactly the same scenario.

It gets annoying that your brain rattles off questions faster than you can answer (if you can answer them at all) Yet it is these uncertainties and fears in the unknown and the uncontrollable that makes us human. Man has always wanted to play God. (At this juncture, Steve swears that he is not anti advances in technology) Though Man aspires to play God and thinks himself to be invincible, it is these things that he cannot control that brings him back down to Earth. It is these certain things that we cannot control that simply reminds us that we are mortal. It is the raw feel of pain when you press an open wound or the simple fact that we bleed that reminds us that we are mortal too. It is the helplessness that we are unable to do shit nuts to convince someone to love us or to appreciate us better even with modern technology. There are so many people out there who are unable to find love even with all the modern gadgets that are available to us. (Thankfully Steve's biographer is still madly in love with that one special girl and is happy to have found that special girl)

The sad thing is that morality is unable to catch up with science. One sentence from "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown has stuck in Steve's head- the carmelengo in the book says something about how science has brought about advancements but not taught man how to use it. Look what a fat load of help nuclear technology has helped us so far. With idiots using them to blackmail the world for humanitarian aid to feed himself and his top brass, science is bringing more pain than joy into the world, though it is not that obvious. While it has brought about material comforts, it has brought about massive pollution. And with THE motherland flooding its rivers with algae and distributing all its tainted food to the world, Steve is seriously thankful that we don't live forever. God save the world.

2007-06-02T21:38:00.000+08:00

There is something you need to know about Steve- there are times when he starts to get into his philosophical mood swings. When this happens, the only thing one can do, as what his poor biographer has been doing quite often as of late, is to roll his eyes and let Steve go on and on on his ramblings.

Steve's latest philosophical mood swing is on the topic on the common train of thought of doing your best in whatever you do. A lot of people believe that one should do his best in whatever he does. Steve may have his detractors in this area (no offence meant at all) but he believes that instead in doing your best in all that you do, one should do his best in things that actually reap benefits. You see, you could for some strange reason end up being a second class citizen with a chevron- when the going gets tough, you are expected to do your best because you are a commander BUT when the pie is going to be shared out, you are treated as one of the lower life forms (army people you KNOW what I am talking about). Since it is not worth your while to actually do your best as the rewards do not equal to or are larger than the effort, it simply doesn't make sense to put in your best.

Life is unfortunately too short for us to do our best in everything we do. Much as Steve would like to do his best in everything, he doesn't see the practicality of doing stupid things that does not yield rewards, even though he may not have a choice in them. As what Buffett says "if something is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well". If as a farmer, your rice yield is not doing too well, and your barley yield is amazing, would you put in equal effort in both fields? Or would you put in all your effort in your barley crops?

Disclaimer: This represents Steve's stand and is not meant to offend anyone. As with the ipod and zen camps.

2007-05-25T10:30:00.001+08:00

Most of the people living in the little red dot are plugged into the digital world. When Steve says digital world, he means the mp3 players and phones that most people have. The dot is mainly divided into 2 camps- the ipod camp and the zen camp. And from these 2 camps, Steve will attempt to decipher what type of character they may have.

The ipod lover

He values looks over function, anytime. In an ideal situation, given a choice between a hot secretary who is useless at anything she does but be a flowerpot (direct translation from its Chinese saying) and an auntie who can make the best tea, arrange meetings, do all the things that a secretary is supposed to do, he would get the hot secretary.
He is an idealist, rather than a practical person. After all, ipods are an accessory and serve as a basic mp3 player rather than anything else and hence as all good accessories should be, they should look good. And as secretaries are an accessory and serve as a flowerpot, looking good serves the function. The extra skills are not necessary.
He would also pay for looks. He would rather pay an extra $100 for the hot secretary than the auntie.

The zen lover

Functions first of course. The auntie, he would choose. After all, he would prefer the auntie who can multitask and settle everything. Pretty girls? Nah. Superhuman aunties who will willingly do their work till they die arranging the next meeting for him? Without a doubt.
A practical person. What's a mp3 player without functions? It can look like crap but if it doesn't boast of like 2million colours (even though our eyes can only see so many colours- research done by Jeremy Tan Keng Lim, the batman of our bunk) and has no radio function and no this function that can call my batmobile and no that function that can locate my lost underwear, it's useless as a mp3 player. Looks aint everything.

One of the rare sightings of Batman in our bunk

He is a stooge. WHAT? An extra $100 for looks? Gimme a break. He is the type who would go to Geylang and find the cheapest damsel than the hottest one who is both able to give him the night of his life (or so they all proclaim).
He is a born and bred citizen of the little dot. The more the merrier. The kiasu syndrome where the more things I can get at the cheapest price, the better. If $100 can get me the full package with the wrinkled auntie in Geylang rather than $120 just for a little look see and touch touch here and there for the new comer in Geylang, of course the full package to get his money worth.

As with all posts by Steve, to avoid any clamp downs by the frightening Men In White, here's a disclaimer to go with Steve's latest post:

Disclaimer: Steve and his biographer has no agenda against either camps. The little red dot is just an expression and is not referring to any country. In fact, it's just a figment of Steve's imagination. Don't believe what he says. As with anybody who goes to court for any serious offences these days, he pleads temporary insanity and has no idea what he is typing. Oh and for the record, Steve belongs to the ipod camp. And yes, Batman does exist. The world is full of superheroes nowadays. Must be the good economy.

2007-05-22T16:34:00.000+08:00

Steve has finally found a gorgeous phone with an FM radio function. Now the only thing is to wait for the price to drop sufficiently within an acceptable price range before Steve is willing to buy it. Ta-da~

The Samsung Ultra 10.9 (U600)

Anyway, what's with recessions and tiger batches? Steve would like to advise people to use condoms in that year to spare the poor child the need to face recessions. (Steve admits that this post is very contrasting to the previous post asking well heeled bugger to procreate) You see, the year Steve and the rest of the tiger batch were born, 1985-1986 was a recession year. And the recession coming up will probably be the year this unlucky batch comes out of university. Hopefully, the yin of the dragon batch will be able to offset the yang of the tiger batch. Oh well.

Be braced for the recession that should come really soon. With US slipping into a recession soon and all the clueless Chinese investors rushing to throw more and more money into a already white hot market, the signs are all in place for yet another recession, one that should be even worse than the Great Depression. The only problem is when will it come. What goes up must come down, and the bubble is just ripe for bursting. When will it pop? Hm.

2007-05-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

Seriously, Steve is fucking du lan with blogger. Ever since the upgrade, most of the skins become incompatible with the stupid blogspot. The biographer swears by his limited computer knowledge that this was not of his doing. If you want to change your blogskin, you find that you can only see the new blogskins with certain browsers only. Which is bloody annoying especially if you did it nicely on one computer and when you try to access it from another computer, the graphic konks out. Especially those with the image hosting (the one with the frog). Bloody blogger. This proves that one should not tamper with anything if it works. It's like an idiot trying to change all the four wheels of a car into a square shape.

2007-05-06T12:10:00.000+08:00

People should be nicer to the less fortunate (hear that you buggers at Raffles Place?), Steve thinks. At the financial hub of our little red dot, the sad people who work there (they all look as if they had heard the passing of a close relative and Steve half expects them to burst into tears every time he sees them) display all the graces and manners that the natives of this red dot are so renowned for (or rather notorious for). Raffles Place buggers, listen up.

Let Steve explain why you people should consider changing your attitutes towards the less fortunate. Steve shall start from the religious point of view. It is said in the bible "Blessed are the poor, for they shall inherit the world" See? Even God tells us that eventually the poor will be the owners of the world. Remember, you heard it from the horse's mouth HERE first. Before you rich buggers laugh your heads off at that notion, it may not be so far stretched after all. God is God for a reason- he is brillant at predicting the future (another way at looking at the half full cup would be he is the one who writes the future ah) Anyway, a look around the world now would show you that the First World countries are all facing a population crisis of not enough kids to replace the old cronies. The people who are of child bearing age are killing themselves with too much work to have any more energy for procreation activities when they knock off. The Third World countries are facing a population crisis of a different kind. Since they have nothing to do after dark, they turn to satisfying their human needs. Hence, their leaders are having a big headache with too many wailing mouths to feed. In summary, pardon Steve's language, the rich aren't fucking enough (or maybe they just have a lot of it with condoms and abortions) and the poor are fucking too much. That leaves us with a brain drain. The rich and the smart will soon die out due to the lack of kids from them. More and more poor people will be born, even though Nature takes care of a portion through the natural selection process of killing off some via starvation, typhoons, etc. Hence, in the words of the bible says, the poor will inherit the world.

So, Raffles Place buggers, are you people scared now? Your only hope? Steve would suggest you buggers either start being nicer to the less fortunate OR start fucking. Be worried. Be very worried.

Disclaimer: Steve and his biographer has no agenda against the poor or the less fortunate. They would in fact encourage people to take pity on them and next time you see an old lady collecting scraps of food off people's unfinished plates for dinner, spare them a few dollars and buy them a meal. As for the Raffles Place buggers, they would also encourage them to start being a little nicer and SMILE more. Lighten up people. Even if your lives suck. BIG time.

2007-05-01T14:56:00.000+08:00

You know, our little red dot island is actually a very interesting place if you bother to open your eyes and plug out those ipods out of the two bat like things that grow on the sides of your head (Steve thinks that they are called ears but oh well, it must have been a mistake for God to put them in since most of us don't use them anyway) as Steve has found out recently. There is a fine line between interesting stuff and stupid stuff, so it is up to individuals to discern for themselves whether it is interesting or stupid.

Presenting: Exhibit 1

Location: Bugis. Outside TCC.

Steve was walking along Bugis when there was this sign on the pavement. No kidding. The greyish part is obviously the concrete thingy lining the sides of the pavement. The green things are blades of grass growing alongside the road. What was there to drink on a pavement? There was no drain nearby for your information.

Presenting: Exhibit 2

Location: Bridge over the river near Stan Chart building at Raffles Place.

Steve chanced upon this very unique photo-taking opportunity. Which of the cats are statues and which are real cats?

Presenting: Exhibit 3

Location: Where else could this be? Orchard Mrt station. Duh.

This rather made Steve's day. The interesting thing is circled in yellow. Some idiot obviously felt like expressing his artistic talent and filled the "O" in Orchard with plastercine. For your information, this sign was directly in the camera's scope of vision, so the culprit must have balls of steel. Steve hoped that the Men In White didn't send the Men In Blue to fine the culprit. Hm. Maybe the Men In White might want to send Magneto to punish the culprit. Oh well, Steve would rather see this than an idiot snipping his pubic hair in public any day, thank you very much.

2007-04-19T15:02:00.000+08:00

A long time ago, through some dark arts of wizardry, THEY were forged from sand in the embers and ashes of the hottest fires. A bubble with no form, he was blown into a shape that was so like others. Millions of them were blown and from the hottest fires, they were tossed into moulds and placed in the coolest ice. From there, they were led to be branded. Oh, the agony. You could hear the screeching of the mindless machines that scratched the names of their owners. The scream of pain from them when branded as well as the constant singing of the machines filled the production factories all day long. It sounded almost, dare I say it, almost like a symphony conducted by no less than renowned musicians like the Mozarts and Beethovens many decades ago. Every day, millions of them were born. An army was born.

Then, they were filled with different fluids, according to who their owners were. Black if they belonged to owners known only by their initials P or CC. Clear shimmering liquid if it begun with an S or 7. After filled with the poisonous fluid that cause diabetes, they were then capped, never to speak again till one day, some kind soul releases them for their torment by opening their caps. Their fate is far from certain, with some owners opting to keep them while many others are disposed, to wander and pollute the waters and lands around them. They could only wait for the day that the poisonous liquids drained from them by some valiant consumer, who would then relieve them of their burdens with the kiss of life. That day of release was known simply as "breaking the seal". That was their destiny. No thanks, no kind words, they only knew suffering and pain.

They took no names, and were simply known as bottles. So, my friends, next time you see a bottle, relieve him of all the pent up angst and pain and suffering that they had gone through. Lend him a listening ear and listen. Listen to him sigh when you break that ice and release the cap around his mouth. Make the bottle feel better by letting him drain all that troubles in him. Give him a kind word or two, or if you are more generous, give him a hug. For all you know, you could have been that one bottle, never to have your burden released. This is the story of the bottle. Adios.

2007-04-17T18:05:00.000+08:00

IF by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

2007-04-13T11:00:00.000+08:00

After all the "deep" stuff from Steve recently, Steve has decided to take a break from all that is "ntellectual" and shall stop slagging off brilliant people. He now brings to you his list of little joys in life.

Little joys in life:

Watching people run for the bus or train, then just as they are a few centimeters away from the bus or train, it leaves. Then watch their reactions. Some will curse and swear at the bus or train. Others will pretend that "Hey, actually I'm not running for the bus or train" and try not to make themselves look so stupid. What would YOU do if something like that happened to you? Case 1 or 2? To avoid having to make a decision on this one, Steve refuses to run for anything. Honestly, is that 10-15min wait for another bus worth making yourself look stupid?
Fridays. Whoever invented Friday is a brilliant person (Cue God's booming voice saying "I know thanks") Fridays is like a prelude to the weekends and just as how good foreplay would lead to better sex, a Friday spent well would mean that your weekends seem all that better. Ingredients for a good Friday (NOT the one that just passed but rather, a GOOD Friday)? Good friends + Good ambience + Good Food = a 11/10 Friday. Currently, Steve spends Fridays with besties from the battalion up North searching for places with good food and good places to chill out.
A good game of soccer. It could either be played or watched. If watched, arm yourself preferably with a bag of chips and beer. Yum.
Finding something that you like and being able to afford it.
The bed after a long hard day. It helps if you fall into a deep sleep and wake up when you feel like waking up.
Getting a SMS or a call from someone that you love, even if it is a simple message that goes "How was your day?" or "Good morning".
Going to the beach.
Running. Top that off with a cold drink after you have run for a long time and then dip yourself in the nearest swimming pool to relax. Ahhhhhh. Orgasmic.
A cold banana and chocolate.
You.

2007-04-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

Seriously with all the recent hoo-ha in the news (again), Steve cannot resist giving his two sen worth on the outcry of the Minister's pay raise. Our puny little island seems to get more and more interesting as the days pass by. The younger Lee seems to be just that different from his 2 predecessors, as he showed when he appeared in the "hot red polo tee-shirt" and got all the women all hot and bothered. Before Steve gets into hot Newater with his politically charged puns (under the wise guidance of his biographer of course), he has wisely decided to go on with the rest of the post.

Singaporeans got it good. 4 decades of peace and prosperity has made us soft and become more and more of a "gimme!" nation. For those who have been living with the frog under the stone and have absolutely no idea what Steve is garbling about, it all began when it was announced that THEY have decided to raise the salaries of the ministers. Steve is by no means any fan of the MIW (Men in White) but you got to give it to them. Even they may not be pretty or have any frills, you got to admit, they ARE efficient and most of their policies actually work. They can be compared to the present Chelsea team. Efficient and get the job done but not pretty. Then all hell broke loose. People started writing to forums and complaining "Hey! Why are they getting increments and all?" and "It's too high for a minister!"

Get real. Between the rantings, you could see the reason why Singapore has half decent opposition parties who unfortunately seem to oppose the people at the helm just for the sake of opposing. You get to hear genius who go "Serving the nation is a glorious task! People take pride in serving the nation so shouldn't argue about pay." You got to hand it to people like this. People who can still be so naive. Steve supposes that it is probably the same people who made the case against people with 6 points going to University. Yeah, you should take pride in your job too, so why don't these people work for free? Get real.

Personally Steve feels that paying a little more a year and enjoying that you get the best ensuring that the country is moving a step ahead of its competitors is a small price to pay. Saving that little a year and meaning that the country is run by a bunch of monkeys is simply not worth it. Imagine Warren Buffett being like the Finance Minister. Our reserves will be overflowing with money! These people just don't get it. Probably they are just jealous, just like they are jealous that CEOs are earning the big bucks. Ministers are like CEOs in their respective departments and should be paid like what they deserve. In the end, PM Lee and several ministers have to take the hallowed path and declare that they are planning to donate the next few year's salary increments to charity. Is there seriously a need to do that? Singaporeans just love to complain. Perhaps that's why more and more companies prefer not to disclose what their CEOs are earning, lest all their little kah kia-s start to complain.

(The biographer is unfortunately not able to make Steve stop his ranting till at this present juncture. The only way he managed to get Steve to shut his trap was by telling him that his tape recorder was low on battery. He would like to apologise on Steve's behalf for all the rubbish that was sprouted here and that hopefully, posts wouldn't be so long)

2007-04-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

It's a highly dangerous world out there. What with nuts proclaiming "France for the French" as well as other nuts wanting to impose religious rule on others, Iran and bloody N. Korea trying to blackmail the world with their nuclear arms, Steve feels that the end of the world is not that far off this time.

The odds are stacked against us this time. Nuclear arms can wipe out a continent on its own. The only world superpower is ailing under all the problems that the 21st century has brought and groaning under the weight of its widely known trade deficit. Yet she can't fight alone against all those problems. Her traditional allies, the British and the French, are just a shell of their former greatness and offer nothing more than support. Deep mistrust clouds the relationship between the Russians and her. China, despite all the hype about it being the next superpower, remains a long way before it can be called one, feels Steve. A superpower can't just be considered a superpower just because of it's huge population or it's ability to be the next market. Heck if that's the case, Africa could be a superpower too. The reason why China and India don't cut it is simply because they are not responsible enough. A world superpower has to take charge of global affairs and not hesitate to step in, even though it hurts. Firstly, China unfortunately only meddles in matters that has to acknowledge that Taiwan is part of China (come on, how immature is that? It's like only making friends with people if they say you have a HUGE member). Secondly, China is simply not helping with the world's problems. By pegging it's yuan against the US dollar AND flooding US market with the cheap stuff, it is forcing US to take protectionist measures against it. And when US does, China complains. The superpower also has to take a stand in what is right and what is wrong. China for the record is so polluted with most of the rivers looking like dumps and the air is horrible. It also has a record of human rights issue. Or rather a lack of human rights.

Religious rule is a recipe for disaster. History tells us that when a state adopts religious rule, it simply just doesn't work out. It usually ends up as the head thinking he is some sort of god and imposing his will on others. The Christains and the Jews tried and failed. The Muslims tried and failed. Sadly, religious rule usually happens in places where people are too uneducated to realise that the person selling the religious rule package is a master conman. Laws that simply don't make sense. Since Steve does not want the weight of the law to come down hard on him, he shall stop elaborating on this point.

Disclaimer: The views are of Steve and has nothing to do with the biographer. He swears that Steve is probably half drunk when he did this and cannot be held accountable for whatever that was said. He therefore cleanses his hands off this post. In short, please DO NOT sue my underwear off!!!!

2007-03-31T23:05:00.000+08:00

Steve doesn't have anything of any note to blog about, so here's a few random thoughts:

Why is it that soccer players can be tall and muscular (look at the number of underwear advertisements by them aka Freddie Ljungberg) but a slight push can send the bugger tumbling like a water tumbler?
Why do buses that pass through Chinatown move at half the speed that it usually does?
Why do all the people working at Raffles Place all look as if their mum has died or something? They all have this perpetual frown on their faces. Cheer up mates.
12 more weeks. 84 more days. Come on time. Tick faster!
Steve seriously can't wait for Singapore to host the Formula 1 race, though he hopes that the late night races wouldn't last till too late. He would hate to be kept awake by the vrroooom vrrrooom of the engines. But it would be interesting to watch from his kitchen and see cars zooming past like, erm, cars.

2007-03-20T21:31:00.000+08:00

With all the recent hoo-ha about the O and A levels recently, Steve is unable to resist giving his two cents worth on that matter.

Firstly, the matter of the two different pictures of a RJC girl who was crying because she "did badly" (for your info, this biatch had 4 As and 2 merits for her S papers) and there was this guy who was smiling because he had 2 As. Thanks ah RJC. While Steve is able to empathise with the bitch because she had not met her own expectations (or her parents' expectations or what she thinks society's expectations), why the violent reaction RJC girl? Come on, it's not the end of the world. Your family is not going bankrupt because you didn't get a perfect score. Steve can understand if you feel disappointed with your results but to cry like there's no tomorrow? Isn't it a little overboard?

Secondly, parents have been writing in to complain about how top students in O levels have been "snatching" places in the local polytechnics from the more average students. They were complaining that since these students are able to secure places in the top junior colleges, they were depriving their "average" kids of a place. Steve would like to say tough luck to these parents. Surely these top students are warranted a choice to where they want to pursue their studies since they have done better? If you let top junior colleges be like restaurants and polytechnics be like hawker centres, you can't tell people "hey, you are rich. Go eat at your restaurants because you are depriving the poorer people of eating" Come on parents. Steve knows that every parent wants the best for their kids but isn't complaining about something like that a little out of point? What is the government supposed to do? Tell the top students "Hey go back to the junior colleges"?

Tsk. Singaporeans.

2007-03-17T21:43:00.000+08:00

Friendster is a scary place. A few days ago, Steve decided to log into friendster out of sheer boredom. This guy tried to add Steve as a friend and since Steve has the memory of a goldfish, Steve thought that maybe he just forgot who that was. So Steve added him and the following conversations took place.

Steve- Hey who are you? Where do I know you from?

Weirdo- Where do you live? I'm currently serving my NS now :) Can we trade contact? Btw, are you top, btm or flex?

Steve- Erm, what's top, btm or flex? (Steve is feeling a little wary now)

Weirdo- Can I ask you something? Are you AJ or BI? Top - Like been Suck, Lick by others and FucK others. Btm - Like been Fuck by others and to Lick and Suck others. Flex - Combine of Top and Btm.

Erm oooookay. Steve is now steering clear of friendster for good. Why the weirdest of stuff always happen to Steve?

2007-03-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

For you buggers who still love army or love a good army story, Steve heard that there was this idiot 2 or 3 batches ago who was sent to DB for a very stupid reason. Guess why? No, he didn't get thrown into DB and lose his chance to enter university because of dissent. This brillant bugger was sent to DB because when he was throwing his grenade, he shouted "Pikachu! I choose you!" Haha. (For the unintiated, he was supposed to shout out "Grenade") What an idiot.

2007-03-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

Steve has a lot of time on his hands, especially since his mind is able to work simultaneously while his hands work the stapler and the sheets of paper. As a result, here's the latest excerpt of questions that has been bugging Steve the whole week and has not been able to be worked out by him. Anyone who can provide an answer to questions of such importance that it could overshadow the fact that those bastards from China dumping shares so as to avoid the government clampdown is most welcome to do so by tagging him.

Steve's list of "Have You Ever Wondered Why?"

Have you ever wondered why:

Middle aged Indians are partial towards gold and the older generation of Chinese are partial towards jade?
The more highly educated a person becomes, the more his or her manners towards others (especially those in the service sector) regress?
Condoms are called French caps when they look nothing like the caps French people wear?
You have a lot of people calling saying that they want to meet you when you are really busy but no one calling you at all when you have nothing to do and looking for something to do?
Whoever came up with the conclusion that no two snowflake is identical? He must have a hell lot of time catching snowflakes and photographing them and comparing them indeed.
When two guys who meet for the first time, their conversation ranges from soccer to army. When two married women meet for the first time, their conversation is about their kids?

2007-03-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

Steve has been working at Raffles Place for the last 2 mths and he assures you that life at Raffles Place is far from boring. Even though the huge television screens on Caltex House and OUB Centre could have shown anything in the world, all it has been playing for the last month was a looped video of a triumph ad (Okay, Steve is not complaining on this one) AND a Guo Mei Mei "Mei Li Gong Xi Fa Cai" (Steve IS complaining about this one. Who the FUCK is Guo Mei Mei? Oh well. Steve tries to console himself that at least the television is not playing the irritating Tokyo Drift song)

Steve reckons that he is probably the highest paid stapler boy ever. To staple paper together, he is paid a whopping $1.3k a mth, not inclusive of overtime. By the time Steve ends his contract later this month, he will be a deadly full fledged black belt in the art of paper staple-ing. Introducing.. The newest SUPERHERO!!!

THE STAPLER BOY!!

Back to the point, Steve has to admit that Raffles Place has a lot of wacky stuff you can amuse yourself with during your lunch break. During CNY, there was cosplay girls and a God of Fortune to promote credit cards. Free shaved ice was given to promote what else? Credit cards. Buffed up guys in singlets and jeans with placards saying "Say NO to Bush" on one side and "Say YES to waxing" on the other side. Sure guys, if Steve wants waxing on his privates, he would be sure to look for you guys. Steve and friends were also amusing themselves watching this old dude giving out flyers. Okay, what's so funny you might ask? The flyers were screaming (not literally AHHHHHHHH but yeah SCREAMING) SEX TOYS FOR SALE!!! It was quite funny watching these prim and proper looking people, who think that they are the cat's whiskers (whoever invented this saying must be quite weird. Why is thinking you are the biggest shit around the cat's whiskers? And what's so big about being the biggest shit or the biggest fuck? Hm) because they work at Raffles Place, read the flyers. Some had the shocked look. Some started laughing and nudging their companions (probably to say "HEY We GOTTA have this!!!). Sadly lunch break was too short to catch anyone with a "WOW!! I'm been looking all over for this and I finally found it" look.

Steve wonders what the new month of March would bring to Raffles Place besides all the rain.

2007-02-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

The Story of the Panda and the Bird

Once upon a time, there lived a bird on a puny island called Singapore. On that little red dot too, there lived a panda. One fine day many many years ago, panda saw the bird fluttering into the sacred forest and he went, "That's a very pretty bird there." Panda and bird and the other animals of the animal kingdom attended lessons in the sacred forest together. It wasn't long before the panda started to fall for the very pretty bird in his class. Yet, he was horribly shy. The horizontally challenged panda didn't dare to let the very pretty bird know how much he had liked her. But it wasn't long before the other animals heard about the panda's rumored interest in the bird. The animals gleefully spread the news that the panda was interested in the bird and soon the whole forest knew about the budding love. The shy panda didn't know that the bird was interested in him too and he stupidly ran away from the sacred forest.

-2 years later-

The shy panda returned to the sacred forest. By then, the horizontally challenged panda was not so horizontally challenged anymore. The pretty bird had blossomed into a even prettier bird now. When the shy panda saw the pretty bird, the old feelings came flooding back. This time the shy panda was a little braver and he asked the pretty bird whether things could possibly work out this time. Yet the panda was stupid. He chose a wrong time to ask the pretty bird, asking her on the eve of her exams. The pretty bird told him to wait.

-3 years later-

The shy panda tried his luck again when he saw the pretty bird fly home for her break. This time, the pretty bird said "Yes yes". But the pretty bird had to fly south to the carribean for summer and spring, leaving the poor panda on the tiny tropical island of Singapore. Will they live happily ever after? The panda thinks so.

To the bird: The panda thinks that all both of them need is a little more heartache, a little more tears, a little more effort, in fact a little more of everything and things will work out just fine. :)

The end

2007-01-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

Rest in peace where-ever you are Chris. Don't really agree with why you had to do it but I'll keep you in my prayers.

2007-01-02T20:57:00.000+08:00

Steve's friend, Aizat, asked a very interesting question today, "Would you rather live a life that is very mundane or a life that is filled with pain and tragic events?"

Life that is very mundane would mean the lives of many people who are stuck in the rat race. These people wake up at standard times, sleep by a certain time and the most exciting thing that happens in their life would probably be the screaming and kicking little demon that was the product of some boring missionary positioned sex performed once or twice a month. Nothing happens in their lives and they pass on to the nether world as just a statistic. No one remembers them past 2 generations of their families.

Maybe to rephrase Aizat's question, would you live a life that is filled with emotions and passion? Since if you live with your heart on your sleeve, there is a higher chance of it being hurt. More so if you put your whole soul and feelings into the things that you do, you will feel the pain more deeply if things do not go according to plan. In the love context, it would mean putting 100% of yourself whenever you go into a relationship and if you two break up, you end up devastated. In the work context, it means doing things that you want to, not things you have to. Doing things because you have a passion for it, not because the job pays better. You live out life to the max, going through the entire roller coaster ride of emotions, the zeniths and the depths of depressions.

Which would you choose? The former or the latter? The latter can get emotionally draining as well as very depressing if things do not pick up and take a turn for the better. The former is more passive and chances are, events wouldn't affect you as much since you only invest 10% of your emotions in everything that you do. Which will YOU choose?

2006-12-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

Should we all be contented with what we have? Or should we strive to get what is best for us?

A few months before the A levels, if you had told Steve that he would be getting grades good enough to get into most courses in a local university, he would have gladly accepted what was offered. Yet when the results came out, and subsequently failed in his attempts to get into a course in which he has interest in, he was left bitterly disappointed. Instead, he had to settle for a course which will result in a well playing job that was in high demand, yet he had absolutely no interest in it.

Which got Steve thinking- is it better to pursue something you like to do but yet not earn as much or is it better to pursue something that you have no interest in and yet earn a lot? On Christmas, there was a quote in the Gospel, saying about suppressing your ambition and all. Putting it simply, the Gospel asks us to be contented with what we have.

Certainly contentment has its benefits. If the people were contented with what they had, life would be a lot less peaceful. There would be almost no conflicts and definitely no wars. No one would go, "Hey that bugger has prettier babes in his country than I do. Let me conquer his land and bed all the hot babes in his countries." It also helps one become more at peace with himself and with the people around him. After all, the contented person feels happy because his life is complete and anything that happens to go well for him is a bonus.

Yet, if we were all contented with what we had, we would all still be using stone axes and advancements in technology would be non- existant. If no one had gotten really exasperated with how hard work it was to lug things around, the greatest invention called the wheel would not have been invented. And we would be reading at night with the aid of fire. Ambition and desire to improve has its costs too. It has definitely polluted the environment and make it less and less likely that Earth would be able to support any life- forms come the next millenium.

Should one be contented with what he has if he is unable to get what he wants? Is it possible that because of some fluke in life, sometimes, our life is better because of these failures? Like say, because of failures, you learn something else that turns out to be more useful in future? You may think that so and so is THE one for you and when you break up, you think to yourself, "No one can be as good as him/ her" Yet, because you left that person, it gives you a chance to meet someone else who is able to blow your socks away but you wouldn't have met him/ her if you had not left the first person.

Do YOU believe in fate? Do YOU believe that somewhere somehow, we are all characters in a play that is running right now? And that we are just living out the story? Or do YOU believe that we can shape our own destiny and who we are is decided by no one else but ourselves?

Okay, Steve is just rambling on and on and is starting to become really nonsensical. He is starting to get into debates that have no answer but only create more questions and every other person has his or her own version of answers. Perhaps he should go off and sleep. Good night Steve.

2006-12-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

Ladies, Did you know that lemon juice can be used as a contraceptive?

Australian scientists have discovered that lemon juicecan be used as a contraceptive.

Here's how it works:

When a guy makes a move on you, you squirt it in his eye.

2006-12-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

A survey asked people if they would consider having sex with somebody for money. 41% of the people asked said they would if theoffer was large enough. The average woman said it had to be$100,000 -- and the average man said, "I don't know, how much doyou have on you right now?"

No idea why but this song has been stuck in my head for the last few days:

Blurry

Verse 1:
Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect youfrom all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Chorus:
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

Verse 2:
Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save youfrom all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway

Chorus

This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away

This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

2006-12-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

Starring:
Steve
Steve's friend, J
Gay boy
Steven
Koala bear minah
Preg-o
Woodland's shit-hole residents

Prologue:
Steve and J are hired at a shopping centre at Woodlands. Gay Boy, Steven and Koala Bear Minah are the employers of Steve and J, while Preg-o (Pregnant erm.. woman? No idea how the o came about but it definitely is not the short form for orgasm) is THE biatch who owns the employers' asses as well as the asses of Steve and J.

The Flyer Boys (Part 1)

After 5 days of first hand experience, Steve can swear to the fact that Woodlands is officially THE shit hole of Singapore. It is definitely not the place to:

date
gawk at hot babes for one very good reason- there's a higher chance you striking TOTO first prize than trying to find a hot babe in Woodland's shit hole
give out flyers
raise kids

On paper, the job description wrote event promoter and taking care of booth. In real life, the job was distributing flyers. It started off, erm, well. 250 flyers were quickly distributed in an hour. Gay Boy told us, "Hey guys, don't distribute too fast because we only have 4000 flyers and if you distribute too fast, they may terminate your contract early because they don't want to print any more flyers." After his friendly warning, we decided to give flyer distribution out a break and instead come up with ways to slack. First we went to stairwell and found this place to hang a hammock. So basically, we slept till like lunch hour and all. Then we would wake up and go catch the lunch crowd. Gay boy gave us some friendly advice too, about Preg-o, to look out for a pregnant woman. He also warned us that if she caught us slacking, we would get fired. As you can probably tell, Gay boy was really very nice. Very nice indeed. Hm.

Steven and Koala bear minah were also really cool. Steven may look really strict and all but he was really nice in that he would warn Steve and J whenever the Preg-o biatch was coming and Steve and J would then be more on the ball and look out for her. Koala bear minah was well, very nice. Ibu! Her character really like you ah. Laid back and very happy go lucky. Well, Gayboy, Steven and Koala bear minah don't really like preg-o too you see and they really didn't care if we did our job at all, which was really good.

Over the course of the 5 days, Steve and J came to this conclusion- the Chinese people in Woodlands are fucking rude. True, service sector, one should expect such stuff and seriously Steve does not have a problem with it. But it is interesting to observe people. The Chinese people, especially those middle age to old folks, can get really rude. Come on, flyer in your face? What would you do? Them Chinese folks will pretend the flyer didn't exist and just walk past you as if you didn't exist. Or they will give you a really contemptous look and walk away. What happened to manners old boy? Worse, woodlands is choked full with snotty Chinese nationals who seem to all think that somehow the flyers have a really bad smell or something. When you hand them flyers, they will back away from you with a disgusted look as if the flyers were giving off a bad smell. Steve stresses that this does not affect him but somehow, if the parents behaved in such a way, wouldn't their kids grow up the same way? It is such a vicious cycle. This is one area that these Chinese "heartlanders" should learn from our malays and indian friends. Even if they didn't want the flyer, they always had a smile and said "no thanks" instead of that disgusted look. Incidentally, Steve does not have an agenda against Chinese nationals.

Woodlands also has a resident Einstein. Sorry Florence but Einstein really looked and talked like you. Okay, if someone passes you a flyer, what do you do? Either do what the Chinese people do or take it or even say "no thanks" right? Well, brainy came up with a unique way to someone shoving a flyer in your face. Einstein said "Huh?" when Steve passed her a flyer. -_-" Okaaaaaay. Parents, woodlands is not a good place for kids to grow up in. Seriously.

Guess we shall see how AMK residents are any different from the shit hole of Woodlands or are Chinese people in Singapore just plain rude? Hm.

2006-12-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

Why are you taking business? Or more specifically must you choose NTU business? Would that mean that I will see you in orientation and around in the campus again?? Just when I thought that I could banish you as a bad dream, one that I could wake up from and forget, our paths have to cross again. I just want to run away from you as far as I can. If we are not meant to be, then let our paths not cross again then. Why? Why? WHY??

Just take the knife out of my chest and stab me again. And again and again and again :(

2006-12-03T15:28:00.000+08:00

You know how some songs make absolutely no sense but yet draws you to it because it is so angsty and so emotional? How you sing along to it but yet realise how incredibly stupid the lyrics can be? Take a listen to "It ends tonight" by the All American Rejects.

Anyway, Steve is officially a finisher of 42.196km! All the pain and ache and perspiration makes the finisher's tee shirt sooooo difficult to earn okay. At least Steve has managed to complete the full marathon at least once in this life. One of life's greatest challenges completed :) And I can tell you it is not easy. I watched Steve walk/jog/will himself the full marathon, all through the pain barrier of nipple abrasion :( and aching thighs as well as the mind telling him to give up.

2006-12-01T18:35:00.000+08:00

The $40 Story

This is a story of how $40 led to a really interesting day. Please pardon the poor biographer because Steve was feeling exceptionally talkative and hence a rather long winded story.

Steve had promised a friend that he would do temp jobs with him till either Steve found a more permanent job or the friend flies off to Germany, whichever coming first. Since it is rather hard to find a job for 2 people to work together AND being able to commit 2 weeks only, both of them ended up in a ulu factory place that was hiring people for a job description "general workers, paid daily". They had at first thought it was some odd job thingy and even though the pay was ridiculously low ($40 per day which is how the story got its name), beggars can't be choosers and heck. They took the job. Steve didn't really want to do the job but since he was a really nice friend, he decided not to pang seh and do the job for a day.

Another friend tagged along last minute and the 3 of them trooped down to the ulu company. It was called S****** Movers. The first friend reached there first and he got the job. Steve and the last minute friend got turned away because there were no more vacancies (Steve was on time as usual but other people reached there too early ah) As they were walking away (not like they were really upset that they didn't get the job), one of the foreman called out to us saying that he needed men so he hired both of us. Okay. This sounds really confusing but jobs are on "first come first served" basis. Even though the pay was crap, but apparently there were a lot of people desperate for that $40. So since Steve and the last min friend was a tad late, they were not served ah, until the foreman intervened by saying he didn't have enough manpower, so they were hired.

The first friend got attached to some really strong old man called the Undertaker. The last minute friend and Steve got attached to another guy. Fast forward to their destination (some shipyard at Admiral Road), they unloaded and work started. The assignment for the day was to shift maps and drawings from the container to the store room. The maps dated back 10 years and were packed into hundreds of boxes, each weighing 30kg plus. Insane. First we shifted the cupboards, then we arranged the boxes, followed by stuffing the boxes in its respective shelves. 6 Grown men took 7 hours to complete the job and that was with a 5 min lunch break. Imagine how many boxes there were man. It was really backbreaking work for peanuts.

Steve later learnt that most of these people working here were all former convicts and they were all just trying to make ends meet. Oh by the way, the $40 per day does not cover lunch money. Okay. All of them smoke, so that's already $10 gone. Transport to the office and home about $5. That means these people get only $25 per day after slogging the whole day and most of them skip lunch and breakfast to save money. What the fuck right? Support the yellow ribbon project!! When Steve says support, Steve means support using your mind rather than just your pocket. Give these convicts who are sincere about changing their lives a chance man.

The weirdest thing was that these people are even looked down by the so called "lowest lifeform" in Singapore called the ban-gahs. Steve was like sitting on a crate with the rest and waiting for the lorry to pick them up at 5pm when this ban-gah sweeper walked by and gave them the most contemptuous look ever. My god. Even the ban-gahs look down these people. Have you ever had a ban-gah give you that look before? It is indeed an experience man.

Shagged out, Steve went to take MRT home. Have you ever observed the people who take the MRT each day? Steve assures you that it is really interesting. Most of us would be lost in our own world via the iPod or our handphones. Next time, do what Steve did today- observe. On the left of Steve, there was this guy who believed in fairplay. He felt that "Hey, let's not just spend my money on a footwear brand. Instead, let's support all of them" and that was what he did. He was wearing an Adidas cap, with a Nike sling bag, with a Puma shirt and an Asics pair of shoes. Beat that. When Steve saw him, he was like "WOW!" Please people, have a little common sense.

On his right, there was this guy who seemed to be giving the handrail a handjob. It was as if he was wanking the handrail or something. It didn't help that he had this stoning look. Steve wonders where his mind must be at. Hmmm.

Oh and have you ever seen a beetle or any insect lifeform on the MRT before? It must be a really rare sight indeed because Steve saw a beetle crawling in between the pathway. You know, people seat facing each other in the MRT and there is a pathway for people to stand? Yeah, that pathway. A beetle was crawling up and down that and Steve was staring at it crawl. When Steve looked up, he realised that everybody sitting down was actually looking at the beetle. You can see their eyeballs move as the beetle crawled. Goodness knows how long it would have lasted if some dumb fat woman hadn't stepped on the beetle. If this had been a show, everybody in the MRT would have gone "Awwww.."

The job (even the pay was rubbish) was something most of us never would experience in our lives and it was a good learning experience indeed. Tiring it was but interesting would be a indeed be a really good way to describe today.

2006-11-25T21:22:00.000+08:00

Outside Marche :)

2006-11-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

Steve is sure that everyone has grown up and read at least one fairytale. Cinderella, the prince and the pauper, etc. Even if you haven't, how about television channel 8 drama serials? Now Steve admires these script writers who can recycle the plots so well and so many times. Let's play a game. If you take the front part of any Channel 8 drama serial, and the middle part of another serial, and lastly add the ending of yet another serial, Steve is willing to bet that you would still make sense of what Fann or Zoe is doing and the story actually runs smoothly. Now, wouldn't it be great if life could be just like those in fairy tales or Channel 8 drama serials?

Lives would be so simplified. Our lives would be something like this:

When the nurse pulls you out of your mum, she'll solemnly announce "Once upon a time, there lived .."
You could tell who's the hero or the villain simply by looking at them. If the person is drop dead gorgeous, chances are he or she is the hero and is currently suffering under the evil stepmother or villain. You know the tokyo drift song? If it could be translated into a human face, the person would most likely be the villain. The villain would be really jealous of the hero wholesome attributes and somehow trap the poor hero.
We would all know how our actions would turn out. The hero would always be on the losing side first and just as the situation gets really dire and he or she is just about to lose everything, something or someone will pop up and give them the strength or power to save the day. So if you are the hero aka you look the part, you could just lounge around with the baddie and wait for that something to pop out. You would still save the day, no fear.
The hero or heroine would find true love in another gorgeous mortal. No matter how dire the situation becomes, the knight in shining armour would get to be with the gorgeous lady in the most beautiful gown.
True love exists everywhere. As the Channel 8 dramas like to put it, if you really love someone, and wait forever, somehow someday, you two will end up together. We all know this is bullocks in real life, don't we?
Everyone is so noble and even if they backstab, they do it so half heartedly that it gets pretty obvious aka give the police an easier life.
The good always triumph and the bad always loses. Somehow, people like to believe that good will always defeat evil even though the good guy always finishes last in life.
The weather has something to do with how the day turns out. At the most dire of situations, somehow there would be dark clouds, lightning and thunder. And when the good guy triumphs, the sun will start peeking out and chase away the doom and gloom. OR rain will come and wash all the blood away.
The bad guy dies in the most crappy ways. Somehow, if he repents, he gets a nicer ending. Hm.
When you die, it is simpler for your loved ones to come up with your eulogy. It will go something like "and they lived happily ever after. The end."

Now wouldn't that be something?

2006-11-19T16:05:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: The views are Steve's and are not meant to offend anybody.

You know how people usually go on and on about how people change because of the company the mix with and are influenced by the place they grow up in? Heck, they even have a idiom "birds of the same feather flock together". Malaysian have the Malaysian way of talking and thinking, Singaporeans have theirs, Chinese nationals have their own too, etc. The list goes on. But on a smaller scale, Steve feels that even the schools that students graduate from have an impact on their character.

Say, Catholic High. Once a great school, now just a shell of it's former glory. One of the worst things is pride in something that was once great but is no more. It's like saying "Hey, give me the job because my great grandfather was a millionaire." Cat High students tend to extremely kao-bei. Perhaps a simple explanation is that they just like to express their views. However, it can get really annoying because they just love to kao-bei about anything, good or bad. The food is good, kao-bei. The weather is horrible, kao-bei. Teacher couldn't make it for something, you guessed it, kao-bei. (For the uninitiated, kao-bei's direct translation is cry father. Steve has no idea why making a fuss about something has got anything to do with crying father but yeah. There you go, another Singaporean slang that either has been distorted or doesn't make sense) Another prominent trait of a Cat High boy- being absolutely despo. Steve here is filled with a deep dislike of his secondary school.

These traits of being in a certain school does not limit itself to Cat High unfortunately. Well, St. Pat's people tend to lean towards having an attitude problem. An SJI student would be more of the outgoing and more vocal type. SC girls tend to be more liberal in their thinking and most of them have dance/ gymnastics background. An AC bugger would tend to be rich (wah really ah? Really observant man Steve. Your middle name must be Sherlock) and snobbish. The list just goes on. Maybe Steve is just stereotyping but look around you. Compare people from the same schools and certain similarities of the way the people from that school talks or acts may start to seem more obvious than before.

2006-11-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

For a good 1 year 10 months, Steve's brain has been on a holiday touring Europe. Taking a siesta with the sizzzzzzzling hot Spanish babes. Getting beautiful French girls to like his mayonaise- coated French loaf. Feeling the firm-ness of the hamburgers that the American babes display. You get what I mean. In short, Steve's brain has been having the time of his life while Steve was serving his mandatory 1 year 10 months. As you can see, NS is a no- brainer.

Anyway, dear Steve's brain, it's about time that you start coming back. Oh, while you're on your way back, please call ears too. Because Steve's in dire need of them now. Today was a brillant day. Steve attempted to reach Yio Chu Kang at 3 so that he won't be late for his driving lesson. So he did. Or rather he thought he did. Feeling very happy that he managed to be on time for once, he called his driving instructor.

"Hello Mr Chan. Steve here. Where are you?"

"Eh Steve, I'm outside. Where are you?"

"Oh. I'm at the taxi stand."

"Heh? What taxi stand?"

"The one outside the MRT??" (Steve was feeling very smug then)

"There's no taxi stand here lah deh."

(Steve starts getting confused) "Huh? No taxi stand?"

"Which MRT station are you at?" (Mr Chan is apparently brighter than our Steve here)

"YCK"

"Wat the??!! You told me Eunos ah"

Ah. The brillant- ness of it all. In the end, Steve had to take a cab down to a very irate driving instructor at Eunos, 40min late. Eunos, Yio Chu Kang, same. 2 syllable, 3 syllable, same.

So where- ever you are brain and ears, please come back. Steve cannot do without the 2 of you no more. He has ORD-ed.

2006-11-12T21:19:00.000+08:00

Next up in Steve's Top 10 lists segment, Steve shows you 10 essential things to bring with you into a theatre to make a good movie even better. Enjoy.

10 things that you can't do without in a cinema

Tickets.
Fritolay's Doritos. Mmmm.. Who can resist them? Super cheesy nachos that are way cheaper than those that the re- packed nachos with microwaved cheese that they sell at the stands and they taste better.
Bubble tea. They come in all sort of assorted flavours to cater to different palates. People with gourmet tastes could substitute bubble tea for Starbucks's Mocha Frap. Heck, if the movie is really crap, you can get to amuse yourself by shooting the pearls out of the big straws into the air. Then watch where it hits, try to aim at the same unfortunate person and see how accurate you are with a improvised blowpipe. (Disclaimer: Steve takes no responsibility for any pearl shooting done in cinemas. If you get hit by a pearl in a cinema, Steve swears it's not him but the person sitting next to him.)
A jacket. With cinemas all trying to outdo each other in the newest cinema craze "Who has the most powerful air conditioner and who can turn it to the lowest temperature", be prepared to shiver all the way if you don't come equipped with one. But if you are one of the "luckier" ones who have a blubber of fats around your waist, you probably don't need one as you already have a built in sweater, so no worries!
Spectacles/ Contacts (Does Steve really need to elaborate?)
Chocolate.
Famous Amos cookies. Mmmmm. Take one cookie out of the take away bags and share the love with the people in the cinema. In terms of free smells.
Popcorn. Sweet, salted, it doesn't matter. As with number 2, I'm sure the person whom you have been flicking it to won't be too fussed about what flavoured popcorn keeps hitting him.
A mobile phone that has a mode called "Silent"
Jessica Alba/Fiona Xie/Eva Longoria/Any girl from the Top 10 Names list. Sometimes, it's not the movie but rather, who you watch it with. Heh.

2006-11-12T01:15:00.000+08:00

Quote of the week

"God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at once." - Robin Williams

2006-11-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, a picture says a thousand words. In other cases, like in this case, it doesn't. It only says 23 words. Anyway, that's not the point. FINALLY comes the day when my board can display proudly the number of days Steve and I would love to have stayed in the most fucked up battalion of all- 0 days.

To all people who finally achieved this dream on the 3rd (Bastards whose ORD got pushed forward), 6th and 7th,

Remember remember 7th november,
The 1 year 10 mths NSF,
I know of no reason,
Why such stupidity should ever not be forgot.

-O for ORD

2006-11-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

Steve would like to request to MTV Awards to include a new award this year. In fact, he has even kindly written the speech for the presenter this year to make before he presents the award. The award should even be specially designed. Steve would like to suggest it be in the shape of a clenched fist with a middle finger sticking out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, there are many types of songs- happy songs, sad songs, inspirational songs. This year, however, one band has made history by creating a new type of music. It is no mean feat indeed to create a whole genre of music altogether. In fact, it was so good that one horrible movie even adopted it as it's theme song. Sad to say, the movie was unable to save the song and both the movie and the song was a total disaster altogether. Please put your hands up for the Teriyaki Boyz."

The Tokyo drift song by the Teriyaki Boyz has to be THE MOST IRRITATING song ever to be created. My god. AND it has to be an Asian band who created it. With like Asian bands and singers trying to break into the US music industry, one band just had to spoil it with the "I wonder if you know.."

Seriously, one more "I wonder if you know.." and Steve would like to kill that person playing that song.

There is a rumor anyway, that US marines play the Barney song (Yes, the "I love you, you love me" song) to Iraqi POWs non-stop over and over again. Unable to take the song anymore, they would rather reveal their secrets than to continue listening to that soundtrack. Well, Donald Rumsfield, if you are reading this, you know now, that there's a better and more irritating song to play.

2006-11-02T14:47:00.000+08:00

RESTRICTED

Start of Steve's "Rules of Parental Engagement"

I guess all underage people (when I refer to underage, I refer to people who have not finished their schooling and not stepped into the working world as a working adult) have to go through alot of "good" intentions by parents to knock some sense into our immature minds. Steve has kindly consented to sitting down with me today to share with me his highly invaluable "Rules of parental engagements". This rulebook is highly useful when it comes to a more peaceful life for the user and a lower blood pressure for the user's parents.

It doesn't take an Albert Einstein to observe that Steve is as far from being THE ideal son that parents want as Kim II Sung actually not being the weirdo that he is. In fact, even a US Marine in Iraq would be able to tell so, if Senator Kerry had his say.

Anyway, Steve unfortunately had many run- ins with his parents. Steve attributes it to the fact that his father and him having too many similar character traits to live harmoniously. As his biographer and having observed close hand, I can certainly testify that Steve and his father have a relationship much like the relationship US has with N. Korea and Iran. Or like how Dr M and his PM Badawi. As a result, Steve is more a less an expert in this area of Parental Engagement.

Now we have established the credentials, let's progress on to Steve's main topic, which is the "Rules of parental engagements". After 20 years of playing with matches near gunpowder, Steve would like to share with you his valuable insight on how to avoid prolonged parental arguments.

Disclaimer: Success would depend on individual and may not work for all. Steve's "Rules of parental engagements" is purely theoretical and Steve will not be held accountable for the results.

Rules of parental engagements

The rule is at an optimum when the cause of the argument is a petty issue. Success rate is inversely proportional to the seriousness of the issue, where k=1.

Other variables include "parent" and the "person getting into trouble"(he will be referred to as the user here). In the variable "parent", it would help if the parent is currently not stressed out by external factors. For the latter, success rate increases when the person in hot soup has developed a certain immune system.
Okay, obviously when you actually have to use this "Rules of Parental Engagement", you are probably in hot soup already. Hence, you will probably be subject to stage 1 of parental engagement- The preaching.

Stage 1: The Preaching

Parent will start taking out the wooden fish and start chanting. Steve regrets to inform you that this is unavoidable and Steve suggests that you sit through it. This is the tricky part. If done correctly, you will be able to save yourself stage 2 and 3 of parental engagement.

10 Rules of engagement for preaching

Never talk back. Be it the fact that in the middle of the preaching, you suddenly came up with the antidote to cure AIDS or how to stop Mourinho from whining after every match that Chelsea loses, SHUT UP. Don't bother trying to explain yourself, even if you fancy yourself to be the world's best debator. Steve has conducted a random survey of parents and they generally don't bother listening to explanations. In fact, it may result in part 2 of parental engagement. Hence, conclusion? Save your saliva and don't bother.
Put on a serious and remorseful expression. Steve suggests you practise this highly useful skill in front of the mirror. This skill can be used in future when explaining to your boss how you accidentally leaked out juicy details of his affair with the secretary to his wife. Parents tend to like this expression as it gives the impression that the user is highly repentent.
Looking at parent's direction unfortunately is a good idea. When you do practise Rule 2 well enough, an expert touch would be to lower gaze and not meet the eyes of parent as it enhances the "I've learnt from my mistake" look. Do not attempt to look at the computer or something in opposite direction as Steve found that books and other stuff can come flying in the direction, resulting in part 2 of parental engagement.
When the tirade is done, a remorseful sounding "I'm sorry" is good, even if you are NOT sorry and still think you're right. Somehow, it has a calming effect and parent tend not to continue with part 2 of parental engagement. Again, some practice is required for the perfect wavering and pathetic sound. Awwww..
In very close relation to Rule 4, add a "I'll learn from my mistake". Parent will then simmer down and be putty in your hands.
A few drops of tears would be brillant, especially if the situation is very serious. Knowing when to apply this would be good. Do not overdo. If need be, for distraction purposes, sometimes, a few buckets of tears may cause parent to feel guilty and may even shorten the preaching or distract them from more embarassing stuff.
Okay, it may be difficult to actually sit through the whole preaching thing. Yet, you're supposed to pay attention to all the crap? Now, imagine yourself doing something else. You could imagine like parent singing your favourite song. Or you could be with your boyfriend or girlfriend making out. Any interesting scene. The good thing about this is that it brings about a raptous look and as if you are actually paying close attention. Note, do not think of something too hilarious. Somehow, bursting out into laughter or smiling in the middle of a preaching session where tempers are flaring has the effect of N. Korea firing a nuclear bomb.
Do NOT smile or burst out laughing (as explained in Rule 7). Flouting this rule will definitely result in stage 2 AND 3 of parent engagement.
Nodding once in a while is another brillant move to show acknowledgement of understanding parent's preaching. You know the toy that has a bob head? The one that keeps nodding. Brillant. Do it slowly and once every 20 seconds. Useful skill in lectures too when teachers do not make any sense but demand attention. Further corporate skill at board meetings too.
Do NOT yawn or play about with anything in your hands, be it handphone, spinning your pen or anything. Any form of self entertainment is only to be done in the head.

Stage 2: The Beating

If Rules not carried out properly, parents do move on to Stage 2- the beating. Unfortunately, Steve is unable to offer any advice except that dodging and running around furniture to avoid the beating has the good effect of tiring parent. Hence, the force of the beating and the number of whips tend to be lesser since most of parent's energy is wasted on trying to reach you. Steve would advise you to train up on your cardio and dodging as well as saving your screaming as it wastes YOUR own energy. Therefore, just SHUT UP and run.

Another tip would be to get a thicker cane. Thicker canes tend not to hurt as much. When hit, try to act as if it hurts more than it actually does. If your performance is good enough, chances are parent will not update the rod to belts and other more handy stuff. When the object comes near to you and misses, yet looks close enough to have hit, scream as if hit. Honesty is not the best policy here.

Stage 3: Cold shoulder

Actually, as user of this rule engagement grows older, parent tend to skip Stage 2 altogether. Stage 3 may come in several formats, for example the more extreme of disowning you and throwing you out of the house to the less extreme of just not talking to you. How effective this is depends on the soft hearted-ness of the user and how close the user is with parent. The more attached ones will probably feel the most effect of this and try to make amends.

Personally, Steve being the heartless creature he is, likes it the most when parent skips Stage 1 and 2 and comes straight to stage 3. To those who don't really care about how good the relationship is with their parents, Stage 3 is probably the least effective tool a parent has. Why? Steve simply doesn't care.

End of Steve's "Rules of Parental Engagement"

RESTRICTED

I hope that Steve has been of help and to all offenders or future offenders, Steve and I would like to wish you luck in restricting engagement to Stage 1.

2006-10-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

Since Steve and I are about to ORD, we would both like to take this chance to look back on the 1 year 10 mths of life in the army. Nicholas asked me what was my feelings now that freedom beckons, with a little more than 2 weeks left. Honestly, I would like to say that my feeling now would be more of a relief rather than the exhilaration or outburst of joy. Steve puts it in a nicer way, now with the mandatory NS over, we can move on with our lives, albeit with another 10 years of reservice.

It all seemed so long ago when we were herded into the Pulau Tekong like sheeps and sheared. Then, our Sergeants told us that enjoy it while it last because recruits' life is the best time of our entire NS life. It may seem weird, but honestly, truer words could not have been spoken. I would not lie, nor would Steve like me to, that I did not end up in the more "xiong" BMT companies. Perhaps if I had ended in a more "xiong" company, I would have laughed at my sergeant. But I had a lot of fun times there with Steve and all my platoon mates. It was nice waking up to Wesley's face (it sounds really gay) and then we would both go back to sleep to catch a few more minutes of precious sleep. Learning all the new army songs and making up new ones to sing on route marches. Modifying my helmet so that I could listen to radio during route marches. Meeting our wives (our rifles). Going for field camp. Throwing my first hand grenade. Firing my rifle for the first time. Laughing at stupid amateur jokes and at each other. Life was so good then that I even contemplated signing on if I had done badly in my A levels. 10 weeks passed quickly and soon Steve and me POP-ed. We were each segregated into different places. Wesley went police with a few of my bunk mates, some went airforce, others went OCS. Steve and me? We ended up in SISPEC (Suffer in silence plus extra confinement)

SISPEC. The actual name was School of Infantry Specialists. It was more like a dumping ground for 2 types of people. One was the type who failed to wayang well enough and impress their commanders. The other was the people who wanted to "keng" their way through army but their superiors refuse to grant them their wish. Either way, neither group of people would give a fuck shit about the training. Life was rather a blur for the both of us and I would rather like to skip this entire episode altogether. Neither Steve nor I had any good memories there other than meeting new friends.

From there we graduated to School of Armour. 16 weeks of training. Daily itinerary runs something like that:

0530- 2.4km run
0600- breakfast
0630- prepare vehicles, draw arms and prepare to go outfield
0700- move out
2200- come back camp
2300- lights out

Sounds tiring? Honestly, Steve and I agree that this was the best time of our army life, with our recruits life coming a very close second. Tough it may be, but tough training breeds platoon bonding and I'm proud of my vocation. We were the legendary course and I doubt that a better batch would come along. All but one got IPPT gold and all passed SOC.

Then came the part where both Steve and I lost our taste and liking for the army altogether. Whatever was left of the dream to sign on was killed. Up to today, both of us thank our lucky stars for having good enough grades not to contemplate a life as a regular. In fact, not only losing our liking of army life, we also ended up losing whatever pride or respect for any form of specialists. We ended up in a run down battalion with 7 other guys. I would say that life would be even more unbearable without them as well as the other specs. People like Xiao Pang, Monkey, Gandalf, Air con Jeremy, Mark Gay Bod, JQ, Jasper, Derek, Kennard made our lives a little better. Perhaps it could be because we both have not gone to the working world and hence not suffered from any office politics. But seriously, we met people who even though may be of a higher rank altogether but lost all ability to think. Some still have the mindset of a 1960s soldier. A favourite phrase? "You also going to shit tomorrow, then you shit today for what?" Come on man. It's because of people like them that army is moving backwards rather than forward. Enough said. Memories of where we are posted to are best left unsaid. But the good 1 year that we spent there was nothing but bad memories. But thank goodness this chapter is soon about to end.

Come on! Time never passes so slowly before.

2006-10-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

There is this one girl, whom Steve has known for a very long time already and are currently very good friends. Sometimes, when you are friends with someone of the opposite sex, and when your friendship grows to a stage whereby both of you have such a rapport and can talk about anything under the sun, you begin to wonder. Wonder why both of you do not amount to anything more than just friends. But doubt gnaws. Does she or does she not share the same sentiments?

Ah, the tricky vicky dicky picky part of friends to couple scenario. The scenario facing Steve is something not under the saying "between the devil and the deep blue sea". If you have to choose, which would you choose? The devil or the deep blue sea? Just friends or more than just normal friends? The bad thing about these type of situations is that you lose a lot more than if you were in any other situation. You have to consider the fact that she may turn out freaked out by this thought of being more than just friends that she starts avoiding you. Instead of just a broken heart, you have to contend with the fact that you have just lost a friend. Then again, those wise gurus who came up with the theory that if the girl feels so awkward after that that she does not want to be friends anymore, she cannot be a "true friend" Ah. Theories. Since when can feelings be put into words and defined?

Besides all that doubt, the main reason that is stopping Steve from asking her the question is that he thinks he cannot commit. Youth is a precious thing. You can use your boundless energy and lack of responsibilities to be the person you want to be, to do the things that you want to do. There is no how high you can fly. Being tied down in relationships can be a bit of a bother. Steve feels that he might not be able to give it all up for her.

As you can see, Steve is a bit of a satay situation, as my good friend Suff would put it. Come on Steve, all you need to do as to just tell her! It solves all your problems and you don't have to think or worry about it anymore right? Haha. Being the outsider makes things so much easier. As people always say that about it being easier said than done. How apt.